Dressage Mom

February "Five Pieces of Equipment I Love Right Now" Weekly Post #3

2012-02-15T09:00:00.006-05:00

Schneider's Gel-Lite Split Support Pad with Inserts

The last one was a pad for Phil - this one is a pad for Kaswyn. Again, the trainer/barn manager at my barn has one of these pads that she uses on her older gelding for lessons. It has pockets in the front and in the back that you can put foam inserts in (also available from Schneider's).

For the older horses with backs that have dropped some, the foam pad inserts in the back help lift the saddle and level it out. Kaswyn was really ready for a pad like this, and I think it fits very well. The pad is $45 and the inserts are $11. Still pretty reasonable, I think. (Find them at http://www.sstack.com/)

The Schooling Show We Didn't Get In To - Part 3

2012-02-13T09:00:00.000-05:00

Sunday morning came much too early, but I knew that if I wanted to school Phil before the show started I needed to get out of bed. It was really hard, but I didn't want to school in the warmup if I wasn't going to be showing. I didn't want to take the room (and possibly create an issue) in the warmup when people who needed to actually show were there.

Luckily one of the gals who brought her horse to the show lives right across the street from the show stable, so she headed over at 6:00 to feed. When I got there at 7:00 Phil was fed and ready for work. He seemed calm when I was tacking him up, but as soon as I got him into the arena it was the same story. Anxious, rushing, nervous. Sigh.

However, he seemed to get a lot of that out of him on the lunge line, and I didn't feel as if I had to lunge him for as long. I was just finishing lunging him when the first horses started coming into the warmup. I hopped on and we did a few laps in the warmup, but what I really wanted to do was get in the actual show arena and let him see the scary lounge through the huge windows at the end of the arena.

Just as I was heading into the show ring, three riders from the warmup had the same idea as I did. I think Phil felt like he had safety in numbers, because even though he was nervous he willingly blended in with the small herd. I took my time and let him look at everything and made sure he got a good look at the windows and the lounge. He seemed to be able to handle everything, so we began to trot.

Overall it went pretty okay. There was a trainer coaching some of her students who was standing outside the show area by A, and Phil didn't like the looks of her for whatever reason. He kept avoiding trotting past her, and even when I walked him past her he really didn't like it. She wasn't being loud, or waving her hands around, or anything else that I could think of. We had just trotted past her for the 5th or 6th time when I spotted a man up in the loft.

Uh oh.

The man was being very quiet, and careful not to make any noises, but he needed to grab an extension cord that was up there. I saw it coming before Phil did, and I was stopping him when he saw the man.

It was too much for Phil. He leaped in the air and flew sideways, jerking his head up to look at the man. I stayed in the saddle and got him stopped. I let him take a good look, patted him and told him he was a good boy, then asked him to trot on. At first he didn't want to go, so I gave him a little bump with my leg. He jumped forward, I said good boy, and then I did my best to just carry on like nothing happened.

Amazingly, he also carried on like it never happened. He was still nervous but he didn't view the loft are where the man was as "the scary place". I was really happy about that.

We trotted around a bit, and I decided not to canter him. That had the potential to get too exciting, and I was going for calm and easy that day - as much as was possible that is. One by one the other horses left the arena, and I could sense that Phil was watching them go, and could feel him getting anxious that he was alone. We went to the walk and I just talked him down, and he seemed okay.

A few laps later and I called it done. We had a good experience, and that was my goal. My next worry was getting him back on the trailer. It worked the first time thanks to the Rompun, but would it work without it?

Turns out it wasn't a problem, even though there was lots of snow on the ground, plus ice under the snow. Twenty seconds of gentle coaxing and he was in the trailer. Again, he traveled like a prefect gentleman and didn't kick or fuss.

Overall I would call our schooling show trial run a success. The next schooling show is the last Sunday of February. I decided to drop him back to Into A and B. When I told my trainer I wanted to show him Training Level she said "Oh my, well, that's a big jump for him." Which I think was really supposed to mean "Don't be stupid. Try Intro first." So after the test run, I took her advice. Start slow, and work up.

That whole weekend made me realize that Kaswyn has spoiled me rotten. Yes, he was trained as a hunter pleasure horse, just like Phil, but I broke Kaswyn and trained him myself. So I had no fear issues to deal with when we starting dressage. I'm not saying Kaswyn didn't spook, but he wasn't afraid of me, or afraid of showing. And by the time he was eight he was pretty solid. I could take him to any show and know that he'd load in the trailer, not be an idiot in the strange stall, eat, drink, poop, and go to work when asked. He's smart, tries really hard, and has a heart of gold. And he loves to show. I am eternally grateful to have that horse in my life. He's one in a million.

I'm grateful to have Phil too. He's allowing me to learn a lot. Gentleness, compassion, and most of all patience. I really want to show this year, but if Phil isn't ready we'll just have to wait for next year. It will be hard, but I'll be okay with it.

Cool diagrams!

2012-02-12T09:00:00.000-05:00

I stumbled on this page while looking for something..

http://www.ridingart.com/balance.htm

Check it out. I love the diagrams!

Giving an elbow

2012-02-11T09:17:00.005-05:00

So I've had lots of comments about my elbows being straight. I agree, you should ride with your elbows hanging at your sides, shoulders relaxed, straight line from bit to elbow.

I'm here to tell you that would be a very bad thing for me to ride like that all the time with Phil. Please read the following carefully and you will understand why.

A trained dressage horse will make contact and go to the bit, allowing the rider to accept the pressure that the horse is exerting on the bit. What develops is a subtle give and take between horse and rider to maintain the perfect contact for that horse, keeping in mind that each horse likes a different amount of pressure in it's contact with the bit/rider's hand.

How do I know this? Because Kaswyn is a trained schoolmaster who I have shown Intermediare I, and have schooled all the Grand Prix movements on. He makes proper and consistent contact. Through this contact I am able to CONNECT him from back to front. And I can ride with my elbows in perfect position, resting near my hips, soft, and relaxed, giving and taking. I'm not a beginning dressage rider.

Phil is young and green, and has been trained to set his head in one position and avoid bit contact. His previous "head set" looks like an upper level horse who is too deep and overflexed. Poll down, chin in, crest up, and avoiding bit contact. I'm here to tell you that if I just put my arms in perfect position he would set that head again. This is completely undesirable for what I'm trying to achieve.

I'm fixing this my allowing him to stretch into my hand the moment that he offers it. To do that, rather than let the reins slide through my fingers, I straighten my elbows. The contact that he will accept is very light from having been taught to avoid contact. So we only get a few strides of contact before he begins to evade again.

Yes, I also come out of position because I'm leaning a bit too far forward. Another consequence of trying to allow any contact and stretch into my hand that he will offer.

I will not ride him like this forever, because I will not need to. Eventually his 3-4 strides of acceptance of contact will be a full circle, then a few laps around the arena. I've only had six months to re-train four years of previous training. This will take patience and understanding.

And as far as excuses, and fear? I'm not making excuses, I'm explaining why I'm doing what I'm doing. I hardly think I need to make excuses for my riding, considering I ride Phil four or five times a week. Frankly, I work my ass off and have no excuses to make. And absolutely, I have some fear when riding Phil. He's young, still green, and unpredictable. I would be a total idiot not to have some fear.

That being said, I know that Phil is a good horse. He is smart, willing to please, and athletic. We'll figure this out. And I'm not flying blind here. My very accomplished trainer is with me on this journey. I trust her completely and absolutely.

So, I'm not saying "don't make comments". Go ahead and make them. I'll publish them. And although I'm asking for opinions, remember that I know more about what it's like to ride Phil than you do, and when I say "that won't work" or "I can't do that" it's not because it's a bad idea, or incorrect. It's just because I know my horse better than you do.

February "Five Pieces of Equipment I Love Right Now" Weekly Post #2

2012-02-10T09:00:00.000-05:00

Schneider's Dura-Tech Brand Half Pad (Wither Pad)

The trainer/barn manager at my barn has one of these pads, and when I got a saddle for Phil it didn't quite fit, so I borrowed her half pad. I've used the brand name half-pad before, but they always seemed kind of stiff and a little bulky to me and I didn't really care for them. This one, however, is a bit thinner and very flexible. It really molds to the back and the saddle. In Phil's case it helps keep the saddle from sliding up on his withers, and it works really well. At $20 you really can't go wrong! (Find them at www.sstack.com)

New Phil video

2012-02-07T21:42:00.006-05:00

I'm sure you want to see the 3rd post in the show series, but this is not it.

What this is is a new video of Phil, taken tonight. I sent my trainer my last video, and here are the highlights of her suggestions -

* Remember the training pyramid - relaxation, rhythm, and contact. His rhythm looks good, and the contact improves when he's relaxed.

* He needs to respect the half-halt more - or I need to be more effective in giving it, or both probably! So do more transitions, and give more definitive half-halts.

* Add transitions within the gaits, and some leg-yields.

* Overall work on suppleness and having him be deeper in the contact - more seeking the bit.

So I have been working on all of these suggestions, and I think things are improving. Here is the new video I'm sending her.

What do you think? I think he's slower, and deeper, and you an see that I'm giving on the inside rein more without it being a huge issue. I think he still has moments of resistance, and moments of crookedness, but I think it's better overall, and certainly better with the contact. Right?

The Schooling Show We Didn't Get In To - Part 2

2012-02-03T09:00:00.001-05:00

Schooling Session #1

Phil seemed okay when we arrived at the show stable. The way they have it set up is there are a bunch of temporary stalls around the outside of this big arena (the warm-up ring), which is connected to the main barn and the show ring. Both arenas were being used for kids jumping lessons when we were ready to school. The warm-up had less horses and two small jumps in it, while the show arena was full of jumps and horses and ponies. They hadn't set up the show ring for the dressage show yet, and that was the ring I was more concerned about since it has windows and a lounge attached to it right behind where the judge sits. I had lunged Phil at home for about 20 minutes before we left (and before the shot!). So I figured I could just tack him up and ride in the warm-up since it had less traffic in it, even though I wanted to try and get in the show ring if I could.

Well, I got on Phil and he was was vibrating. He was super anxious and was getting himself really wound up. I was reassuring him, trying to get him to relax a little, but he just wanted to go, go, go! I made him walk around the arena, trying to stay out of the way of the kids taking lessons. But Phil was so distracted. It's not that he was scared, really. It was more like he was just freaked out about being at a show.

Of course, he didn't know what to expect from me at a show, since this was our first one. He had been to two other shows, but at those shows they WANTED him to be wound up and flying around the ring. They probably tried to get him all revved up and frenzied so he would trot bigger. So that's what he expected that I would want, or try to do with him.

I can't say that he was particularly spooky, but little things were setting him off since he was already jumping out of his skin. The horses in the temporary stalls, people walking by, someone moving the wheelbarrow, it all was too much for him. He was overstimulated and just couldn't handle it. So I thought that I'd trot him and hopefully he could settle down and focus on work instead of everything else.

WRONG!

We went a half a lap at the trot and somebody opened the door at the end of the arena. We were heading away from it, so he didn't get a clear view of it, but saw it and heard it behind him and that was it. He couldn't take it anymore and leaped into the air and flew sideways.

Luckily the kids were taking turns jumping, so most of the horses were standing in the center waiting their turn. And I'm lucky that they were school horses and didn't really give a snot about the silly horse leaping around. I stopped Phil next to all the other horses and just let him stand there and watch the lesson. He seemed okay with this and we just stood there for five minutes until the lesson was over. When the other horses started to leave, Phil started to get upset again, so I got off.

One of the gals who came with us offered to get me my lunge line, and I accepted. I then lunged Phil for another 15 minutes or so. I know he was tired, but he was getting dangerous and I didn't want to get hurt, or hurt anyone else. Finally he seemed like he was running low on steam, so I got back on.

I needed to be smarter about this, so I made a 12-15 meter circle in one end of the arena, and did lots of walk-trot transitions and changes of direction. This kept him occupied, got him focused, and the few times that he did try and leap around I was able to control it because we were on a small circle. Eventually he was calm enough that I made my circle bigger, and went to the other end of the arena also. In the end I could trot him completely around the outside of the arena, both directions. He was still on alert, but focused and working. I'm not sure I'd call him relaxed, but it was pretty good considering what we started with.

I knew I was tired, and I wanted him to end on a positive note, so I decided to stop and put him away without taking him into the show arena. That could wait until tomorrow. I would have to get up super early in order to lunge and ride in the show arena, but if that's what it took I could sacrifice some sleep, get there early, and take a nap in the afternoon.

Because I couldn't go to bed early that night. I had to run home and get all prettied up for Craig's company party. I was dragging by the end of it, and we didn't get to bed until after 12:30 am. Sunday morning was going to be rough in more ways than one.

February "Five Pieces of Equipment I Love Right Now" Weekly Post #1

2012-02-01T09:00:00.002-05:00

This is the first post for February's weekly theme. Enjoy!

Magic Stretch Gripper Gloves

These babies make great winter riding gloves, and they are super cheap! I don't care for the ones that don't have the rubber gripper things on them, but the gripper dots or even the patches of rubber (in patterns of skulls or flowers, whatever they might be) make for nice gripping of the reins. And at $2 a pair, it's hard to care of you lose one or get a hole in the finger, which is what usually happens when I buy expensive gloves.

Check your local Walgreens, CVS, or Dollar Store before they pull all the winter merchandise. I try and pick up a few pair when I see them and keep them in storage for next year!

The Schooling Show We Didn't Get In To - Part 1

2012-01-31T09:06:00.011-05:00

Getting There

There was a schooling show this past weekend. I didn't get my entries in on time, so we didn't get a slot in the show. Three other horses from our barn did get in, so I decided to take Phil over and just school. The plan was to go over on Saturday and school, get stalls for them to stay overnight, and show (or in my case, school again) on Sunday.

One of my concerns was getting Phil in the trailer. The last time I put him in a trailer and took him him someplace, he ended up bleeding from six places.

This is also the reason why I insisted that he get used to wearing wraps. It just wouldn't work out if I took him to a show and he was torn up by the time we arrived. Even with the wraps I know he could get hurt during loading, and that's why we did lots of trailer work when the weather was nice. However it had been a while since we did anything with a trailer, so I was concerned that it would be a huge scene and I wanted to avoid stressing Phil out right before the show.

The barn manager (who was going to the show with two of her horses) suggested that I give him a light tranquilizer of 3 cc of Rompun. This would help take the edge off and give him a positive experience with trailering. I had never given Kaswyn anything like that for trailering or anything else, but I decided that it sounded like a good idea.

We gave him the shot in the muscle and gave it about 25 minutes to take effect. Then we prepared to load him on the trailer. It took us about one minute to get him on. He was a little hesitant, but with minimal help from behind and a little coaxing he jumped right on. I was so happy!

I wrapped him in polo wraps for the trip over, but didn't put bell boots on him because he still kicks at those. But he didn't kick at all in the trailer - or if he did he didn't connect with anything. He got out of the trailer completely unscathed, and not bleeding from anywhere. Success!

Now it was time to school. That should be the easy part, right?

Maybe not...

The Cost of Courage

2012-01-27T16:00:00.001-05:00

I got some good feedback on my Phil video. One thing that was said more than once was “more bending/lateral work” to help with connection. I had been working on the bending exercise my trainer gave me, and with releasing the inside rein, but Phil gets really freaked out by my hands moving.

See, I think he was treated rather harshly in his training, and when I move my hands up or out a lot, or take up on my reins quickly, he thinks I’m putting both reins in one hand so I can beat his butt with the other hand. I have never ever carried a whip with him, never have worn spurs with him, so this isn’t coming from me.

Regardless, it’s something I have to deal with. And releasing the inside rein and causing all kinds of anxiety in Phil started to seem counterproductive, so I stopped working on that and concentrated on connection. But after those comments I decided to give it a go again last night.

Well.

We started off okay, and I was being very subtle with my inside hand. I knew that he saw it moving, because a few times he took a big leaping step away from my hand, but came right back to me when I reassured him. I thought things were going very well. I was also trying to not restrict him, so I was being brave and letting go.

I’m not sure how it happened, but the anxiety got the better of him and he got tense and quick, causing me to take up on my reins when he shortened his neck. That really set him off and he really took off on me, so I sat back and said “Whoa!” That just made it worse, and be bolted blindly across the arena in a panic, head straight up in the air. It took me five or six circles of him running with his butt down and head up before I got it under control. I’m sure he thought he was about the get the beating of his life. I was just as scared as he was, because I didn’t want to turn him in a tight circle and have us go down in a heap, and I didn’t want to head him into the wall (I know some people do that but I’m not THAT brave).

Eventually we got it back under control, but he was a total wreck after that.

There is a schooling show Sunday that I was planning to take Phil to, but it filled up and I didn’t get a slot (I should have gotten the entries in sooner – argh!). At first I was just going to forget the whole thing, but now I think I will go over on Saturday as planned and school him, leave him overnight with the horses from the barn that did get in, and school again on Sunday. He needs to get off the property and work.

I have to get this horse to trust me eventually. I’m trying very hard to be kind and fair, but also uncompromising in what I’m asking for. I know he didn’t develop this fear in a day, or a month. I guess I need to keep being patient.

January "Keep It Going" Weekly Post #4

2012-01-26T09:00:00.000-05:00

The last Weekly Post in January's "Keep It Going" Theme. I like this one the best (besides the one Dressage Today chose for their program!)

Set The Bar

Everyone has times in their training where they feel like they lack direction. It’s easy to get in a rut and ride the same way, every time, and feel like you aren’t really going anywhere. In the winter that can cause you to be apathetic, and think “I’m not really DOING anything anyway, I can take a few days off.”

Start setting some goals for yourself. A schooling show. A clinic. Finally getting that clean flying lead change from left to right. Start small, and build on that. Having a goal of “I want to ride better” is far too broad, and can make you feel like you’ll never get there. Be specific, be analytical. How do you want to ride better? More stable seat? Quieter hands? Break it down, and work on that. Keep track of your progress by summing up your rides on a calendar. In a few months you’ll be surprised at how far you’ve come. Start now and set yourself up for a beautiful spring!

Don’t hibernate this winter. Work hard, make progress, and have fun. You know you want to!

February's theme - Five Pieces of Equipment I'm Loving Right Now

Bravery

2012-01-24T12:41:00.007-05:00

I have heard people say that bravery isn’t the absence fear. It’s doing something in spite of being afraid.

Well, I forced myself to be brave on Monday.

I’m still struggling with connection on Phil. The strong steady leg has worked really well to help him focus and to get him to go to my hand. But I felt that he really wasn’t maintaining the steady connection that I wanted. He seemed to go to my hand, then come up, then root around and push down on the bit. He just seemed unsettled.

So I thought back to when I was riding Lee and was trying to get connection with him. I remember my trainer saying “Just let him go. I think he gets frustrated when he wants to go forward and you stop him.” Maybe I was letting my fear get the best of me and was stopping Phil a bit too much.

Mind you, this horse has jumped straight up in the air, taken off with me in a panic, and bulldozed almost into the wall when I tried to use my leg when I first got him. Therefore I’ve been a bit cautious with this whole “strong leg” thing. But maybe I just needed to let him go.

So I did. I put my leg on him and just went with it. He gave me some very big, strong strides, and it felt really good. However, we were covering a lot of ground, and it was hard for me to tell if our tempo was maybe too quick.

I had my friend Debbie make a short video of me riding Phil tonight. Here it is -

I'd say that he doesn't look too quick, but he does look too short in the neck, and still not steady enough. Needs more reach into my hand with a longer neck and more constant contact.

I'm going to send the video to my trainer and get her take on it. What do you all think?

Whine and Sawdust

2012-01-24T12:25:00.001-05:00

I love my girls, but sometimes I want to drop-kick them into the next state.

Craig was out of town on Saturday, and I didn’t have anyone who could get the horses out for me. The weather had been miserable with frigid temperatures and lots of blowing snow, so there hasn’t been a lot of turnout going on. So in order for my horses to get out, I had to take the girls with me.

Now Lily, the older one, doesn’t really like riding. She likes horses, and thinks it’s fun to feed them little pieces of hay through the bars of their stalls, but she thinks horses “smell like butt”. Macey, on the other hand, loves horses, loves to ride, and doesn’t care if she steps in poop. I had to bring both girls to the barn with me that day, and I knew it was going to be really cold, which meant that I was going to have to work quickly so that they didn’t freeze.

Macey got very excited when I told her we were going to the barn. She begged to ride Kaswyn, and wanted to trot. So I told her that she could walk Kaswyn while I took ten minutes to lunge Phil, and then I would help her with trotting. I made it clear that I had to lunge Phil, so she would have to walk, and only walk, Kaswyn while I worked Phil. Yes yes, she said, that would be great.

As soon as we got to the barn, Lily asked “Can we play in the sawdust pile?”. “NO. Absolutely not. Last time you got sawdust EVERYWHERE.” “Okay.” She said. I told her that she could feed the horses, or walk outside, or play with the kittens. “Okay.” She said. And she was off to do whatever.

I got Kaswyn ready, got Macey on board, slapped boots on Phil and started lunging. Three minutes later she says “Mommy, I want to be done. I want to go outside with Lily.”

ARRGH! It took me longer to groom and tack Kaswyn than the entire time she had ridden! I had Phil out already, and I wasn’t about to stop lunging him so I could get Macey off of Kaswyn. I told her she would just have to walk him around until I was finished. We then began an annoying banter back and forth that I’m sure made everyone in the barn want to strangle us both.

“Mommy, how much loner?”
“Five minutes, Macey.”
“Mommy my hands are cold.”
“I’m sorry sweetie, just wiggle your fingers.”
“Mommy, how much longer?”
“A few minutes Macey. Look, stop whining! I told you would have to wait until I finished lunging Phil!”
“I know, but I’m sick of doing this!”
“Just stop complaining!”
“Mommy, my nose itches.”
“Put both reins in one hand and scratch your nose!”

Then, even though I had told her to stay on the rail and walk around the outside of the arena, she walked Kaswyn right into my lunging circle while my back was to her. I turned around, with Phil at the canter, to see Phil and Kaswyn on a collision course. Kaswyn just stopped, and I screamed “MACEY!!” and yanked Phil towards me as fast as I could.

Kaswyn didn’t move. Phil managed to narrowly miss Kaswyn by leaping towards me. Luckily Kaswyn is such a fantastic horse. He didn’t spook or jump or anything. I’m very lucky. Macey could have been seriously hurt.

I looked at Macey. She said “Oops.” I fumed.

At this point the barn manager said “Hey Sheri, do you want Anna to take over? She could ride Kaswyn and give him a bit more exercise.” “Yes, that would be GREAT. Thank you.” I said.

So I yanked Macey off of Kaswyn and handed him over to Anna, who has taken lessons on Kaswyn and is a great little rider. Then I sent Macey outside to look for Lily. I told her to keep out of trouble while I finished with Phil.

When I had Phil all tucked away in his stall, I went looking for the girls. I found them.

In the sawdust pile.

I was furious. Lily had sawdust all down on the insides of her brand new snow boots. Sawdust does not brush off of that felty material very easily, so now she’s going to have splinters in her boots all winter. I asked her why she played in the sawdust when I specifically told her not to. She said “I don’t know.” I got her as brushed off as I could and sent her outside. Macey was playing in the sawdust too, but she hadn’t done as much damage. She had made a quiet and smooth exit out of the barn while I was scolding Lily.

I finished putting my stuff away, and then went to find the girls. They were outside, sitting in the snow on a slope. Lily was crying.

Well, then I felt like a meanie. But really, she disobeyed me. Shouldn’t she feel bad?

We headed home, and talked about it later. I felt bad that I made her cry, and she felt bad for disobeying me. We hugged it out and made up.

As far as Macey goes – she’s going to come out to the barn only when she has a lesson, or when I’m not pressed for time. That way I can concentrate on her and we don’t have another near miss collision in the arena. It’s probably safest that way anyway.

I really want my kids to ride, or at least like horses, but not at the cost of their safety. Or my sanity.

January "Keep It Going" Weekly Post #3

2012-01-18T09:00:00.002-05:00

January Weekly Post #3! This one I actually like.

Buddy Up

Sometimes it’s hard to keep motivated. You get the barn and you think “Hmm, what if I just lunge today” or “I’ll just hack today...it’s winter, we could use some down time.” But all those easy days can add up, and make you think “What happened?” when show season rolls around.

Find a barn buddy with the same goal as yours – to get through the winter and actually take forward steps in your training. You don’t need to be at the same level – you don’t even need to be at the same barn! Just find someone who can motivate you by asking you “Did you ride today? You riding tomorrow?” A long distance buddy works too. Social networks and cell phones make great ways to check up on each other. So send that text, or instant message, that says “Hey, we did a great half-pass today. What did YOU do on your horse?”

Jumped

2012-01-17T12:21:00.004-05:00

I had the day off of work today, so I went to the barn this morning. I never have been to the barn on a Tuesday morning, so I wasn't prepared to see a line of big jumps set up in the arena. There are a few gals who have hunter/jumpers, and in the summer they have these ginormous jumps set up in the outdoor arena. In the winter there are never jumps in the arena, and I always wondered if they just didn't jump in the winter.

Turns out that they only jump once a week, and that's Tuesday morning. I had been curious about whether Phil would have any talent or desire to jump, so I asked them what they thought would be the best way to figure it out. The answer was "ride him at a jump and see what happens."

So we did!

The gals really helped me out, and we started with just poles in the ground. I wasn't sure how he'd react, but Phil wasn't afraid at all. Then we went to a low crossrail fence. He was hesitant a few times but he really seemed to enjoy it. We went over eight or ten crossrails, and then I schooled the canter a little bit. I was amazed at how the canter felt after we did our little tiny jumps. It was amazing! Phil was really using his back and haunches, and pushing a lot in the canter. It felt fantastic.

Overall it was a little scary, but very exciting. I might have to bring out the crossrail once a week or so and see what we can do with this. It might end up being nothing, but at the very least it will be fun!

Wow. Just wow.

2012-01-15T15:06:00.003-05:00

This is the best horse related video I've seen in a long time. The horses, the riders... everything about it is just badass.

Thanks to Taya for the link. Enjoy.

Acceptance

2012-01-13T09:00:00.001-05:00

My ride on Phil last night was very tiring. It was good, but tough.

I started right away with my firm leg and insisting that he go to my hand. He started by leaping into my hand, then backing off as soon as he felt the rein. This went on for about thirty seconds, then he settled down to a decent trot. But THAT only lasted a minute or so, and then he was back to attempting to leap around. I know my leg was a bit overstimulating, but it really kept him moving into my hand and that's what the goal was. That didn't mean it was an easy ride.

There was a fair amount of resistance to my hand, and plenty of resistance to going forward when I had my leg on, even though as soon as I took my leg off he didn't have any problems rushing off. Although, at times he got too quick when I put my leg on, and was kind of leaning on my hand instead of making a middle-of-the-road contact. So it seems we have two things to work on - acceptance of the leg, and acceptance of my hand.

Before last week I had let Phil lure me into the trap of not using my leg and riding off of my hand and seat. Since he's a spicy little tomato, I started to ride with my leg totally off of him most of the time in order to avoid having him bolt away. But now I see just what a mistake that was. I don't know how many times I've read "leg/seat first, then hand". I know this, I used to do this, but that tricky Phil, he fooled me!

It took most of the ride, and some pretty ugly moments, but by the end I had a nice driving trot into my hand. It made me realize that my "contact" before wasn't really contact - it was Phil setting his head in one position and me holding the reins. That wasn't true contact, and it wasn't going to get me a real connection, which I'm going to need to do anything beyond Training Level.

So now we will really start this thing correctly. We'll be working on acceptance of the aids. It's not always going to be pretty, but Phil is smart and he wants to please me, so he'll figure it out. I only hope my legs and my abs can handle it! I'm sore!

Simple, but Clear

2012-01-12T09:00:00.001-05:00

The last two weeks have been a bit of a struggle for me as far as Phil is concerned.

My trainer flew off to sunny Florida for two months to train with her trainer (not that I’m jealous or anything…stuck here in dreary, cold Cleveland…blah) and I didn’t get a chance to get one more lesson in before she left. I figured I could muddle on through for eight weeks and she could help repair the damage when she got back.

Well, the issues I was having just got bigger and bigger, and I couldn’t figure out how to fix them. I was still trying to help Phil establish and maintain a connection with my hand. This was something my trainer mentioned that I had to work on in my last lesson. She gave me an exercise to help straighten him that also helped improve the connection, so I began to practice that. I continued to practice the bending exercise and it help improve his connection a little bit, but it didn’t seem like I was really making progress.

So I started concentrating on the connection. I just couldn’t get Phil to maintain it for more than a few strides. Then he would bounce against the bit, and even jiggle his head a little.

I tried to just be still, and let him find my hand, and loosen his neck when he got stiff and resistant. That wasn’t working. So I tried transitions. I tried changing directions. I tried changing the gaits within the gaits – lengthening then shortening the strides at the trot and canter. We were both getting frustrated because nothing was working. Phil became very distracted and started reacting to everything that was going on in the arena. Another horse walking around, someone walking in, a cat running by – he just could not concentrate and would bring his head up and quicken his stride.

Over two weeks things deteriorated into Phil just rushing forward, avoiding contact, being resistant when I tried to make contact, and being stressed out and distracted. Suddenly I had this horse that was acting more like a wild green 3-year-old than a trained 6-year-old. I called my trainer on the way to the barn with a pleading message of “Phil’s being a jerk – help me figure this out!”

Our ride that night was the worst one yet. Distractions in the arena made him tense and inattentive, and I spent my time trying to get him to slow down and get on the bit. I tried everything that night, but what mostly happened is we flew around the ring in a barely controlled frenzy. It seemed that Phil didn’t know what I wanted, and that was making him frantic that he was going to get in trouble despite my assurances to him that “It’s ooookkkkaaaay…you’re a goooood boooy…”. After 40 minutes I was out of ideas. I sat on him and walked for a minute, trying to figure out what to do. Then I thought, “What would I do if Kaswyn were acting this way?”

The answer – I’d sit my ass down, put on my big girl breeches and RIDE.

So I did. I wrapped my legs around Phil, like a vice, and said “GO. Now. Go to my hand.” And I kept that leg on. Not a kicking, hard driving leg, but a firm hug that said GO. When he launched forward I absorbed the energy in my hand and just went with it, using my seat to help slow him. When he tried to come off the bit I squeezed harder and drove him back down to my hand. When he got distracted, he got another hard squeeze. I put my leg on strong, and I kept it there.

I asked him to do only one thing – go to my hand. I realized that I hadn’t been putting my leg on him at all, since he was so jumpy and squirrely. I was keeping my leg off of him, afraid that he would over-react and jump forward. Even though he was rushing forward, and jumping around, and was too quick, he needed MORE leg. It sounds like that’s the last thing I would want to do on a horse that’s apt to run off with me, but that is just what he needed.

The last ten minutes of our ride was bliss. He did what I asked, and I felt him make contact, connect the back to the front, and use his back. I was so proud of him for turning it around, and listening to what I was asking.

When I was able to talk to my trainer later about it, she said that sometimes it’s hard with young horses like that, and you just have to tell them in no uncertain terms what you want. And when you do, be uncompromising, but not in a mean or combative way. Just be clear, and firm. My problem is that I wasn’t using my leg enough, I wasn’t being clear, and I wasn’t giving him direction. The firm leg and clear direction was comforting to him. I think most of his issues with anxiety stem from not being sure of what I want, and thinking that he’s in trouble when he makes a mistake.

Fortunately I think we have cleared that up. Today I’ll ride again, and we’ll see if I can give him better direction. Then he can relax and get to work without so much stress (for either one of us). I’m hoping to show Training Level at a schooling show in about two weeks. I was starting to get worried, but now I think we can pull it off.

January "Keep It Going" Weekly Post #2

2012-01-11T09:00:00.003-05:00

January Weekly Post #2! Stronger than last week, but still, nothing you haven't thought of yourself...

Just Do It

In most parts of the country, winter changes how we ride. It’s cold. It’s dark. Your horse has more hair than a yak, and you’re stuffed into heavy coats with pockets filled with tissues to wipe your runny nose on. Some days it seems easier to stay at home and curl up with a good book.

But on those days when you think you can’t possibly pull on those boots, and make that drive, just get it done anyway. You’ll feel better once you get out there,and both you and your horse will benefit from it. You can crank the heater on your drive home and feel warmed by the fact that you made progress.

January "Keep It Going" Weekly Post #1

2012-01-04T09:00:00.001-05:00

Welcome to the first installment of my Weekly Posts. The theme for January is "Keep It Going". This one is admittedly weak... ah well.

Pencil It In

For those of you with families, better weather brings more activities. Kids and spouses who aren’t horse-crazed probably get more involved on their own sports once spring rolls around. During the longer, warmer days of the year it easier for everyone to get time in on their passion. But the winter can put a serious cramp in everyone’s sporting activities. However, serious horse people have indoor arenas (and horses with hair). The winter calendar can be yours, if you play your cards right.

Try and plan out what might be going on for the rest of the year as far as the whole family’s activities go. You could find out that golfing doesn’t start until April, soccer in March, etc., so you might be able to take extra riding days. Talk it over and try to get just one extra riding day in a week. And then get your family to help you stick to it. Kids always enjoy ribbing their parents when given the chance, so let them guilt you INTO going to the barn. You can thank them later.

Shameful

2012-01-03T11:07:00.002-05:00

I’m such a bad blogger!

For a variety of reasons, I haven’t been able to blog on a regular basis. I could go into all the boring details, but really, they are just excuses for me not sitting my butt down and banging out some posts. It’s not like I don’t have anything to say, cause I have stuff going on. Too much stuff!

So, in an effort to encourage myself to take time to write blog posts, I’m going to adopt a monthly theme and write a post within that theme once a month. Fortunately for me, January is already completed!

As you may have read in my previous post, I was contacted by Dressage Today to write a tip for their New Year, New You Program. I ended up writing five tips, and they chose the best one. Since I have four other tips written (which vary in quality from decent to kinda lame) I’m going to post the remaining four each Wednesday in January. Please excuse the lame ones.

Then in February I’m going to post about four more things within a theme. I’m pretty sure February’s theme will be “Four Pieces of Equipment I’m Loving Right Now”. For March, I’m toying with “Four Simple Dressage Exercises I’m Using”. That’s as far as I’ve gotten.

Have a suggestion for a monthly theme? Please shoot me a comment or an email (dressagemomblog@yahoo.com). I’ll give you a shout out!

New Year, New You

2011-12-08T21:32:00.001-05:00

A few weeks ago I was contacted by the nice folks at Dressage Today to help them with a program they are running called "Dressage Today New Year, New You Challenge". If you get Dressage Today (and I don't know why you wouldn't if you ride dressage....) you've probably seen the ads in the latest issue. Here is the info I received from the content manager -

"The challenge sign-up page can be found at: http://www.equisearch.com/newyearnewyou. Starting on January 1, 2012, participants will receive a short daily email tip from experts on exercise, nutrition and mental health for horse and rider. The goal is to keep riders (from any discipline, any level) on track at the beginning of the new year, especially because winter can be such a hard time to stick with a program. We’ve got tips from Olympic riders, nutritionists, veterinarians, sport psychologists, bloggers (like you!) and everyone in between. "

It looks like Smart Pak is also sponsoring the program, which is great because I think they are an awesome company. :)

Anyhow, I contributed one of the tips for the challenge! Actually, I gave them five tips and they picked one, so I figure I'll sprinkle the "unused" tips around this here blog during January, just for fun.

I signed up for the challenge already. Did you?

Questions

2011-12-07T21:15:00.002-05:00

I've got a few questions for you guys.

But first, I have to gush about how fantastic Phil was this evening! What a super star! Love him.

And I have to let you know that Kaswyn looks a little off. He looks uncomfortable in his left hind leg. I've been a bit lax about giving him his Polyglycan shot (big shame on me), so he was overdue for that. But I think it might be time to inject his hocks again. I know, he's not competing, but I want to make him comfortable. He's still active and doesn't need to go around hurting. Anyhow, I gave him his shot tonight (and I felt terrible because I couldn't see his vein very well through all that neck hair and I had to stab him FOUR times! Two needles later...sheesh...) and I'll see if he looks better. If not, then I'll have to vet out to inject those hocks.

So, for my questions -

#1) If you had a choice, for just ONE day, would you rather your horses' stall get cleaned, OR your horse get out of it's stall? You have to choose one or the other, and getting out could mean turnout, walking, lunging, whatever. This is a one day thing, like the barn says "On this Sunday you get one or the other". Which would you choose?

#2) It's been awhile since I've written one of my stories. You guys interested in that, or do most of you come for the horse content? I've got a doozy of a story swimming around in my head, and it's not horse related at all.

OH! One last thing. Dressage Today contacted me to write a very small thing for them. I'll post about that tomorrow.

Lesson night!

2011-11-30T19:54:00.006-05:00

I had a great lesson on Phil with my trainer tonight. Full details in the videos, but I'll summarize so you know what's going on. This is basically two videos of the last ten minutes of the lesson.

The first half of the lesson my trainer felt that I wasn't giving Phil enough boundaries for connection. She said when I first got him I was being nice, of course, but now it seems like he is looking for a more defined set of parameters regarding connection and where his neck should be. I was giving a lot, but not insisting that he maintain the connection. I had to do some pretty big, firm half halts, which got a little ugly, but he quickly caught on and the connection improved. I was being very nice to him, but I wasn't doing him any favors by not working to fix the connection. I need to be firm, but fair, and fix it now. Cause if I don't fix it now, then when?

Going to the left is his better way, and he is so crooked to the right that it's like riding two different horses. The time has come to make Phil straight. My trainer had me bend his neck to the right, while going to the right, as if his head were a hand on a clock. 12:00 for straight ahead, and then bend in increments to 1:00, 2:00 or 3:00. At first all Phil did was dive to the inside of the circle, but you can see that after the work, and at the end of the lesson, he got much better about balancing and being able to stay out in the circle. The connection also improved because of this work. This is one more thing I need to fix now - straightness. His left side is stiff, preventing him from coming over and through his back. This is also not allowing the shoulders to move as freely as they should.

And wow, look at my right hand! ACK! It comes up and my whole right side just curls up when I'm trying to bend Phil and push him out on the circle. I need to fix that for sure. If my riding goes to hell that's not going to help anybody.

Part One of the lesson is here -

http://youtu.be/FXJ_bc9xR6E

Part Two is here -

http://youtu.be/Lk6eJqLGDoo

So this is our next set of homework - improved connection and suppling the left side for Phil, and gaining dominion over my right hand (and hopefully, my right side too). I'm going to try to have another lesson before the end of December, since my trainer goes to Florida for two months in January.

I'm having a blast with Phil. He's a good boy, and he's trying really hard to learn. I'm super lucky.

Stretch and bang

2011-11-27T21:26:00.005-05:00

Tonight I had a great ride on Phil. We seem to be really clicking the last few rides. After a week of trying to desensitize him to my hand movements I took a week off to let him relax. I didn't want to make every single ride stressful and full of fear for him (although I will return to the desensitizing). So this past week I have been toning my hand movements way down. But I'm still releasing with my inside rein, it's just very subtle. And he seems to be okay with it.

He's starting to be more consistent with his rhythm, and is more willing to go slow and not rush off so much. Our contact is also getting more consistent, but still needs work. One new thing I've added is trying to get him to stretch down.

You know what I'm talking about - that dreaded "stretchy circle" where you make your reins long and allow the horse to stretch it's head forward and downward. I feel like so many people try to gimmick their way into this movement, but there is only one real way to make it work every time in the test - you teach your horse to stretch into your hand and seek the contact.

It's been a struggle with Phil, for two reasons. First he was taught to back off of the bit, so no matter how long my reins were he wanted to "set" his head in a position and not move it. Once I showed him that I wanted him to make and maintain contact with my hand, every time I made my reins long he would go faster, causing me to shorten my reins and half-halt to slow him down. This was actually making it a little worse, because he would get scared when I took up on my reins and would then go even faster.

I had to think for a few rides about how to handle it, and here is what I came up with. I started him on a ten meter trot circle, and then let my reins out. Even though he wanted to speed up, he couldn't get much speed going in such a small circle. I continued to try and keep contact, keep him calm and slow, and encourage him to stretch down. Every time he even thought about stretching down I praised him a lot. After a few circles one direction I changed to the other direction, still keeping a small circle.

A few rides later and I'm able to make larger circles, and he's actually stretching down into the contact. We're not up to 20 meters...it's more like 12-15, but I think we are making progress. The biggest challenge, after actually getting the stretch, is going to be for me to be able take up on my reins without Phil getting scared of my hands moving around.

But we're working on it, and he's trying. And making progress. I can't ask for more.

And Kaswyn is just a peach. That horse is worth his weight in gold. He is still giving lessons and allowing me my rides too. Heart of gold, that one. I love him so.

Oh, and just as I was leaving the barn this evening I heard a huge banging. I ran down to the stalls just in time to see Phil's door go flying off the track. I heard wood splintering and saw his stall door hanging from one track. I ran to his stall and found him standing there, scared but okay. He was covered in sawdust so I'm guessing he rolled and got himself cast, panicked, and thrashed until he got his feet under himself, kicking his door off in the process.

I got the door open and moved him to the only empty stall in the barn. He seemed okay, no blood or big bumps anywhere. We'll see how he is tomorrow. But this better not be a habit cause I don't want him to get hurt. I'm just glad the door gave before his leg did!

Getting there

2011-11-16T21:42:00.003-05:00

Phil has been getting a bit better about my hands moving. Tonight I realized something important - that he gets worse when I take a strong hold on him once he bolts. This makes it very difficult, because when he takes off my first instinct is to tighten the reins to slow him down. But then he gets more frantic, which makes me think that somehow he associates a strong hand and short reins with something bad happening.

So tonight I tried really hard to let go as much as possible. Even when he bolted, I tried to just momentarily take a firm half-halt, then let go. It was really hard for me to do that, because it didn't always work at first and my instinct was telling me to grab his face and slow him down. Eventually he calmed down, and by the end of the ride everyone had left the arena so I was able to do some serpentines which helped him to relax even more.

I think this issue finally arose because I had started to release my inside rein like my trainer had explained to me during our last lesson. He seemed okay at the trot, but when I started doing it at the canter he started having issues. Before this I think my hands were always low and quiet so it never was a problem. But really, I have to be able to move my hands around without him freaking out, so this is just something we'll have to work on. Tonight, once he relaxed during the serpentines, I kept my hands still and gave him a break so that we could end our ride on a nice, relaxed note.

He's getting better, and I can tell that he's trying. It makes me feel bad, putting him through this, but he'll never get better if we don't address this problem. I'll just go slowly, and eventually we'll get there. I'm actually getting something out of it too - I'm getting much more fluid in my contact and I'm forcing myself to let go and not hang on the reins. Even though this is difficult work for me, I know it's much harder for him.

I'm thinking about taking him to a dressage schooling show in January. I'm kinda excited about it. We need some lessons between now and then, but I think we can pull it off. I'm excited. :)

Skeletons

2011-11-13T20:41:00.002-05:00

Today I unearthed an issue from Phil's past that I had an inkling of, but didn't fully understand. More than once when I had been riding him he had taken off in fear. It was mostly when there was a lot going on, and I figured he was a little overstimulated and having a difficult time concentrating. Now I'm certain that it's a past trauma that is rearing it's ugly head.

During our ride today, there was nothing going on at the barn. He was the only horse in the arena, and it was pretty quiet. But he took off on me twice in a panic. The second time I realized what was going on. He had gotten a little quick at the canter, and I needed to take up on my reins. Both times he bolted it was because I raised my hands up, specifically my right hand. And when he took off, he wasn't bucking or spooking - he was running in fear, haunches tucked under and head high in the air, trying to get away from me.

When I finally got him stopped, I tested my theory. I simply raised my right hand up and forward and slightly out, towards the side of his head. He about jumped out of his skin trying to avoid the blow that he was sure was coming.

Someone has hit this horse in the head, with their right hand, while on his back. Maybe only once, maybe a lot, but I'm certain that he has been punished harshly by someones right hand in the direction of his head.

This makes me unbelievably sad.

Phil has done nothing but try with me. I can't believe that he's ever done anything to warrant such punishment. It makes me sad, and angry.

But that doesn't matter now. I can't change the past, but I can try and convince Phil that he can trust me not to bash him in the side of the head. I know there are going to be times when I'm riding and I'll need to adjust my reins or move my right hand. I can't have him bolting in fear every time this happens. We need to work on this.

The last ten minutes of our ride consisted of me moving my right hand up and out, him freaking out, and me patting him and telling him it would be okay. We started at the walk, in small circles, so I could control the bolting.

Let me just say at this point, that I've been bucked off of two horses who have bolted on me. Both wanted to dump me, and pulled some nasty moves to achieve this. I have a bit of fear about horses who bolt, but with Phil today I was sure that he wasn't trying to throw me in the dirt. He was just scared.

Anyhow, after some time at the walk with me raising my hand and him not reacting, I was able to move out to a 20 meter walk circle and have him be wary, but okay. Then we went to the trot. This was much harder on him, and me, but we were eventually able to get to the point where I could move my hand and he didn't bolt. I won't say that he was relaxed, but at least he wasn't reacting as much.

So now I'll be spending at least part of every ride waving my hands around. I know it will look silly, but this is something that I have to include in our training. I can't expect Phil to give me his best if he's afraid of getting punished in such an unjust manner. Time to build a lasting, trusting bond with this horse.

Anger Management

2011-11-03T20:24:00.003-05:00

This is a long post, and kinda preachy. You have been warned.

There is no anger in dressage.

This is the most important lesson that I've learned in the past year. Before I moved to my current barn, I was at a barn where I rode alone for three years. Where before it was just me and the horses, now I'm exposed to different people, disciplines, and attitudes towards training. It's made me realize more than ever that there is just no room for anger when you are doing dressage training.

I'm not saying I have never been angry at a horse while mounted. I have, because I'm not perfect. What I am saying is that it's one of the most unproductive things you can do while mounted on an animal that you are trying to train.

With a few exceptions, horses are pretty willing to please. Sure, mostly their agenda is "Let me outside!" and "Feed me!", but most horses allow themselves to be trained. Not all of them give 100%, but if a 1200 lb plus animal did NOT want to be ridden, it wouldn't be.

So, let me give an example to help me prove my point. Your horse spooks. This makes you mad, because you think A) he just did it to piss you off, B) he should know better, or C) it wasn't anything to spook at, cause he's seen that hose a thousand times. Whatever sets you off, you yank on his mouth to stop him, bang his sides with your spurs and whip his butt a few times to let him know you are pissed.

First - fear should never be punished. Spooking is innate in horses. Sure, some are spookier that others, but they are just listening to their instincts. A horse's best defense is it's feet. It doesn't have sharp claws or teeth. It has legs. So it runs to protect itself. Anyway, to punish a horse for spooking is just justifying that it should be scared. But that's another soapbox...

Second, your whip and spurs ARE NOT WEAPONS. They are AIDS. You don't spank your horse with your whip. Your whip is to reinforce your leg (and occasionally, the seat) when you aren't getting the response that you want. If your horse won't go forward when asked, by all means use the whip, and even your spurs. But make sure to ask with your leg first. Be firm, but fair. But never punish with them. That is not what they are for.

Third, did you think your horse wanted to make you mad? I guarantee he did not. In this case he was reacting because he got distracted. That happens to every horse from time to time, but if it happens all the time with your horse, then maybe it's not his fault, but yours. Have you ever established trust with him? Why should be believe that he wont get eaten by the boogieman unless you prove it to him? Also, a horse can only do one thing at a time. A horse that is busy working has no time to spook. So, make him work, make him focus, make that a habit instead of spooking.

Also, remember that horses are not machines. Like you, they get fatigued. They have faults. They will always find the easiest way of doing anything, if you let them. If they stumble, swap leads behind, or lose the hind end in the canter, maybe it's time for a walk break. If they do it a lot, or start some weird behavior (like taking off or bucking for no reason) maybe they are trying to tell you "That saddle bothers my back!" or "My hocks hurt!". It's your responsibility to check these things out, and not just punish them.

You know how hard it is for you to ride perfectly - to hold your core tight, use your seat, keep your hands steady, sit straight, etc. You can do everything great for a few minutes, but then you get a little tired and the correct form goes out the window. You get crooked, lean forward, not engage your seat, anything just to keep going. We do all these things to make it easier, but we don't stop and take a break. It's NOT easy to ride perfectly for long periods of time. It's JUST AS HARD for your horse to be perfect. They get tired, but rather than just stop, they continue doing what they are asked, and they compensate in order to get the job done. Don't you owe it to your horse to be more patient? Cause you're not perfect. Dressage is hard for BOTH of you. Remember that the next time you get really mad at your horse.

You can't create something beautiful using anger. Dressage is meant to be beautiful. Do your horse a favor and take the anger out of your head before you put your helmet on.

It's a wrap

2011-10-28T19:33:00.006-05:00

Phil doesn't care for leg wraps. I understand the fact that he's not used to them because he never had to wear them before. However, now that he's a dressage horse he needs to wear them. And he does, every time I work him. Trying to get the back wraps on him is a challenge, because he doesn't want to stand still, or put weight on the leg I'm wrapping. Sometimes he waves the leg in the air a little (okay, sometimes a LOT). He tolerates them but he's not happy about it.

ME NO LIKEY!!!

(but he's still really cute even when he's being bad).

You'll notice that's a YouTube video. I finally created an account for horsey videos - DressageMomBlog. Right now I only have two videos posted - this one and the one of my first lesson with Phil (which you can find here). I'll post more in the upcoming months.

Also, an update on Kaswyn. He has been giving lessons to little kids and he's been doing great! He stands like a trooper while they groom him and he's really good when they ride him too. The problem is that his dance card has been a little full and I haven't gotten a chance to ride him in a week! I am often there for his lessons so I know how he's being used, and I approve. He's certainly not overly taxed, because some of the kids just walk. He doesn't give lessons every day, and each lesson is only about 20 minutes. My only concern is that he's not being asked to get on the bit, and I'm a little worried that he'll get sore or stiff. So I'm hoping to be able to hop on him and get him really round and stretching about once a week, but I don't want him to work more than three days in a row. I'm not super concerned, it's just something I want to keep an eye on.

Somebody asked me today if I was going to a show next weekend. Not yet... but soon. I watched the footage of Phil's first lesson and compared it to how he felt tonight (which was FANTASTIC) and he's come such a long way. I'm thinking January. Sure, I could do Intro, but he can canter so I think I'll try Training. Maybe. We'll see.

Fight for your seat

2011-10-21T21:43:00.002-05:00

In my last lesson with Phil, my trainer said many times that I needed to make sure I was not leaning forward (as I have a tendency to do). She said I should think of keeping my shoulders over my hips instead of in front of them, and I noticed a big difference in the effectiveness of my seat when I did this. The reason for this, for me personally, is that when I lean forward a little bit I put less weight down on my seat-bones, therefore less weight in my seat. It's harder to use your seat if you don't have your weight settled there.

My rides since my lesson have been a constant battle for me. Phil is just starting to establish a steady contact, which is good, but at times he makes a really firm contact. I know he's just trying to figure out what contact I want, and what is comfortable for him, so he's experimenting with different levels of contact. But that firm contact can sometimes pull me forward, causing me to have less weight in my seat. Sometimes he takes me by surprise and will take a big step and push hard into my hand and pull my butt right out of the saddle.

I was getting a little frustrated that I couldn't stay solidly put in the saddle. On the way home one night I got to thinking about something I had heard years ago - in of all places, karate class.

I took karate for a period of time in grad school (my ex is a black belt...) and I remember once we went to his home dojo to train. We took a class from his sensei (who was really badass in my opinion). He had us doing some stretching and balancing exercises, and I remember the class trying to stand on one foot for something. People would lose their balance and just put the other foot down. So the sensei said something like this - "Don't just give up! Fight for your balance! I don't care what it looks like... wave your arms around, do whatever you can, just fight for it. Eventually it will get easier to recover once you lose your balance."

I thought about what he said, and so I tried to apply it to my riding. It was HARD! It's so much easier to ride incorrectly, leaning forward, not using my core, and letting my seat come up. But this wasn't as good for Phil. He really needs the support of my seat, so I started to fight for my seat. I really sat back, and forced myself to keep my weight down in the saddle. I didn't care how many times I lost my balance, or if I got pitched forward, I just kept fighting for it, and trying to do it right.

The difference was obvious. With a strong seat at the trot, when Phil would make the strong contact into my hand I was able to push him more forward and into a bigger trot, which allowed him to drive more from behind and, after a few strides, lighten the contact on his own. At the canter it made the difference between Phil having a quick, short, choppy canter and having a slow, rolling canter that was free and rhythmic. He is less likely to take the strong contact at the canter for some reason, but he does tend to get quick, especially going to the right. Fighting for my seat is helping me balance him at the canter because I'm able to slow him down with my seat instead of my hands, which is always better.

So, every time I ride I'm now fighting for my seat. And every time I drive home, I can tell I'm doing it right because my abs are sore!

Spammers got me

2011-10-13T11:37:00.002-05:00

Today I had over 50 spam comments on my blog posts. They were on new posts, old posts, and every post in between. They launched a massive attack and some posts got hit more than once. It's annoying.

So I enabled the word verification option for comments. Sorry to have to do that, but I personally don't need to increase my penis size.

A lesson today!

2011-10-10T19:08:00.003-05:00

I don't have much time - gee, so what else is new? - but I wanted to give a quick rundown of my lesson with Phil today. There is no video, even though I had someone there who could have easily gotten some footage! I had my camera and everything, I just forgot to ask. Weak!

Overall Phil is much steadier in his contact and is also much more solid in his canter. No more careening around the ring and scaring me half to death that he's going to wipe out. That's progress!

Things to work on -

1) Phil is starting to really come into my hand and seek the contact, but occasionally he does it in a very firm way, almost rudely. I wasn't sure how to handle this, because I want him to establish contact but I don't want him bearing down so much. My trainer had me actually push him into my hand harder, then half halt and release when he responded. This made him lighter, and practicing this is the first step to teaching him what self carriage is all about. Releasing here is the important part - if you never let go, your horse can't carry itself!

2) Going to the left, especially at the canter, I'm getting locked in my right arm, high in the right shoulder, and off of my right seat bone, which is allowing Phil to avoid loading the right hind. As a result he is twisting body a little, and lowering the left ear. To fix this I need to counter-bend him a little, and think about sitting on my right seat bone to help him load the right hind leg.

3) At the canter it's time to start pushing him into a bigger canter (like the beginnings of an lengthened canter), and then half halt and bring him back to a working canter. This will develop his gaits within the gaits and strengthen his body. It will also get him more attuned to my seat, which he is really starting to listen to very well.

4) Since I now have a decent connection I can start playing around with teaching him about inside leg to outside rein. To do this I need to start releasing with the inside rein when Phil has a "good moment". Meaning he's got nice contact, nice tempo, and is listening. My trainer says I really need to be there with my outside aids when I do this, especially the outside rein. We did some of this tonight and towards the end I was able to push him a bit with my inside leg too.

All of this is very exciting. In just a few short weeks this horse has made some major improvements. My trainer was really impressed tonight with his potential for reaching with his shoulder and driving with his back end. I think he has a lot more to offer in the movement department. I just need to work on realizing that potential fully.

I'm really stoked and already thinking about winter schooling shows. This could be a very fun year.

Oh, and I'll get video on the next lesson (if I remember). For those of you who couldn't see the last video - I'll try and get it up on YouTube. I guess some of your browsers don't like the blogger video player. I'll see what I can do!

Barn fun

2011-10-09T19:37:00.004-05:00

So my lesson was cancelled for Thursday (booo!)

But it was rescheduled for tomorrow! (yaaay!)

In the meantime, I took the girls to the barn to "help" with with turning both horses out and cleaning their stalls.

The result?

They were both shoveling the bedding around. It's sawdust, so it's a little finer than shavings, but it's clean bedding. I told them they could move it around but not spread it all over the place. I filled my wheelbarrow up with clean bedding and went to bed the stalls. When I came back, here is what I saw...

Macey, totally buried in sawdust, complete with a healthy portion in her hair. Then...

Lily, the instigator, clean (for the moment). The second my back was turned, as I put the wheelbarrow away, it was Lily's turn to get buried by Macey, so...

UGH. Showers for everyone when we got home. They had sawdust EVERYWHERE, even in their girl parts. Two days later and I'm still brushing shavings out of their hair.

Note to self. Next time make sure to clearly define what "playing in the sawdust pile" really means.

What time?

2011-10-04T17:27:00.004-05:00

I swear I don't know where my time goes. I've been running around like a crazy person lately! Right now I'm typing this on my phone while Lily is in her karate class. I'm grabbing the time when I can get it!

Having less time right now (because of work) is kinda cruddy. The good thing is that I have been able to find the time to ride both horses. Kaswyn is still doing really well. He seems content and happy most days, and likes to work. He still has bad days, but they don't break my heart anymore.

I've had some breakthroughs with Phil in the trust department. Last Monday a huge thunderstorm started during our ride. The rain was pounding on the roof and the back door of the arena was open. When we went by the door and the rain was sheeting off of the end of the barn, Phil didn't want to go anywhere near it. I was firm, but kind, and insisted that he walk up the the doorway and look at the water. Finally he went and took a look, blowing and snorting the whole time.

Then I praised him and we went back to work. He was scared, but took a chance that the water wasn't going to hurt him, and went by the door without spooking. He trusted me, didn't get eaten, and got lots of praise from me. Since then our rides have been really good. He's letting me regulate his speed, listening a bit to my seat, and has been able to concentrate. It's been great.

I have a lesson tomorrow. I can't wait!

The new horse - the first video

2011-09-23T19:27:00.004-05:00

I know you're waiting for info about the new horse. I'm still super busy, but here is what I can give you right now.

He's a grey, six year old purebred Arabian gelding, and his barn name is Phil. He was a hunter pleasure horse for his previous trainers, and he's been shown a few times so he's broke. But as far as dressage goes he's pretty green. We are working on establishing connection and getting him to work slowly and calmly. He's a spicy little tomato, and has no problem going forward with energy. The issue with that is he gets too quick, loses the rhythm, and starts to rush. But he's a really good boy and wants to do what I'm asking. He's just trying to figure this all out.

This video is of my lesson last week with my trainer. This is at the end of our lesson, so we have already worked out some of the issues - like the fact that I had been leaning forward too much and not using my seat enough. Those are just bad habits that I picked up from not having consistent enough lessons. I hope to change that.

What you'll hear is my trainer schooling me through the last five minutes. She really hates to hear her voice on video (like we all do), but I thought it was really good to hear her instructions and to see what effect they had on me and Phil. So she might not be happy with it, but in the name of education I left her voice in. Sorry! :)

As you can see we have rhythm and connection issues to work out, but those will come rather quickly, I imagine, since Phil is very willing and smart. I hope to be able to get video every month or so. This will help me see our progress.

I'm very excited about Phil. But I haven't forgotten about Kaswyn. I've been riding him about every other day, and he gets turned out with his buddy Mikey - and now sometimes with Phil. I ride him bareback and work on my seat and body position, and he's been as happy as can be. I think we both are relieved that I've taken the pressure off of both of us, and since we don't have to be perfect anymore we can just enjoy each other. He's still not quite even in his stride, but I don't think he hurts. We hack around, occasionally doing fun movements, and just spend time together.

For the first time in six years, I'm really happy about Kaswyn. The apprehension is gone, and the ominous "Will he be lame today?" question is not the first one that I ask myself. Instead, it's "Should he get three treats, or four?" Truthfully it's usually more like five.

Yeah, it's good.

It's Official

2011-09-19T21:12:00.003-05:00

As of this afternoon, I now own TWO horses.

That's right, I just got the papers in the mail for the horse that I was trying to buy. And he's awesome. Not as awesome as Kaswyn (cause I don't know if any horse will ever be THAT fantastic) but he's great.

Yes, I'll write out the details, but right now I'm really slammed at work and pressed for time at home.

I'm very pleased. Two horses. I said I'd never have two horses. And now I do. Am I nuts?

Kaswyn says...

2011-09-16T20:29:00.003-05:00

There are burrs in the pasture. Did you know?

Here is a close up of the train wreck that was his forelock.

I've pulled burrs out of his forelock at least six times already. At this rate he won't have a forelock left by the time the snow hits the ground and the burrs are all gone. Ah well, at least he's enjoying himself outside.

No update yet on the other situation. I'm really hoping to have more info in the next five days or so. *sigh*

And the answer is..

2011-09-16T20:27:00.002-05:00

The fish were stinkier than the cauliflower.

Tomorrow, something funny. At least, it was funny to me.

Lets try this

2011-09-14T18:19:00.002-05:00

In an effort to entertain you while I wait for information, lets play "What Smells Worse?"

A) Rotten cauliflower from the back of the fridge

OR

B) Two dead goldfish in a jar

I've smelled both today, so I can answer with authority.

Cheers!

Kaswyn's fun day

2011-09-13T05:23:00.003-05:00

I'm still waiting! Argh!

Anyhow, I just thought I'd post an update on Kaswyn. Right now nobody is leasing him, he's not up for any programs, and nobody is using him for lessons, except Macey. She has taken one lesson on him so far and will be coming out to the barn with me on Sundays to have a lesson. Since she is six the lessons will be short, and only at the walk right now, but she is all for it. The barn manager, who is also a trainer, will be teaching her. I tried to teach her but frankly the other gal is much better at teaching kids since she's done it for years. And Macey listens to her much better than she listens to me!

As far as Kaswyn's health goes, he's just fine. He's been missing a shoe for almost two weeks so he can only be ridden at the walk. He still gets turned out every day with his buddy Mikey, which of course he loves. And he is still such a stinker. Here is why.

Yesterday I decided to go up to the paddock where Kaswyn lost his shoe to try and find it for the blacksmith who is coming on Thursday. I decided to take him up there with me and let him graze while I looked. There was a big puddle of water right in front of the entire gate area, and we both had to jump through it to get into the paddock. I figured he would not want to jump over the puddle again, so I didn't latch the gate cause I would have had to stand in the puddle to do so.

Well.

I let Kaswyn loose, and started looking for the shoe. Thirty seconds later he headed for the gate, jumped over the puddle, blew through the gate and out of the paddock. He stopped just outside the gate and started to graze. Huh. I figured if he was going to just stand there and eat the nicer grass outside the paddock then fine, I'd keep looking. But noooo, he couldn't do that. About two minutes later he whipped his head in the air, screamed out, and ran full speed back to the barn.

What a booger! Of course I was in the paddock that was the farthest from the barn, so it took me a few minutes to catch up with him. By then one of the gals from the barn saw him and was trying to catch him. She was saying "Are you ok? What happened?"

Yes, I'm okay, and what happened is I was being dumb by not latching the gate.

When Kaswyn gets loose, you can't chase him. He just runs like a total fool and makes a huge game of it. So I just walked calmly behind him and waited for him to stop and eat. Once he figured out that I wasn't going to chase him and holler "WHOA!" at him, he stopped and I caught him easily.

I'll be very happy to have that other shoe on and be able to ride him again. Even at twenty he still knows how to push my buttons. At least he has a good time doing it.

More so...

2011-09-07T18:46:00.003-05:00

I'm still waiting. I can't say anything for sure yet.

Of course I could post all the gory details but I said I wasn't going to get all caught up in the drama of "This is going to work out, yay!" and then two days later "No, this won't work! Argh!".

Stuff is happening. There will be an end to this story. One way or other this horse will have a new owner.

When it's official, I'll post it. All of it.

So...

2011-09-02T06:42:00.002-05:00

An offer has been made on the horse. No papers have changed hands yet, however.

Stay tuned...

...

2011-08-22T17:21:00.002-05:00

So.

Things have changed. AGAIN. And I'm going to stop trying to figure out what's going to happen. I'm not going to give details, but suffice it to say that I might not know until the end of the month if I will own this horse or not.

I have a specific set of parameters that I'm working with, and certain things that must happen in order for it to work out. Believe me, I want it to work out and I've done everything I could do (and have been willing to do) to make it happen. Now I have to just relax and let things be.

If it's meant to be, I will own this horse. If it's not meant to be, I won't. I believe everything happens for a reason and if it works out now, then great. If not, then I can at least say that I did everything I could and it just didn't happen. Sure, I'll be VERY VERY sad if it doesn't work out. I could really see myself having a fantastic partnership with this horse, and I think he has the talent, heart, and brain to go all the way. Yup, I'm talking FEI material. If this doesn't happen I'll always be sad about what could have been. But I'll get over it. Eventually.

I will update you on the situation when one of two things happen - either I have his signed registration papers, or someone else does. Only then will I know for sure what the outcome is.

Up again? Sheesh!

2011-08-21T07:07:00.002-05:00

Okay, you all are probably thinking that I'm jerking you around. But seriously, this thing might actually work after all.

The last 24 hours has been totally NUTS. I'm waiting for a phone call today that could finalize the details that make this all come together.

Of course, it could all completely fall apart again, which would mean another "boo-hoo this sucks!" post from me. If that happens I apologize in advance for being whiny fool.

I'll keep you posted.

Farther down...

2011-08-20T08:49:00.002-05:00

Despite my best efforts it's looking like I'll have to back out on buying this new horse. Realistically I don't have enough time for the self-care option, even though right now I think I could make it work. No other option has panned out, from inexpensive retirement barns, possible therapy programs, and "work off your board" barns. I can't rely on someone to lease Kaswyn because they could back out at any time and leave me in a financial bind. Self care, while it's certainly cheaper, still isn't as inexpensive as I'd like and leaves me with too little time for anything else.

I just don't have the time, energy, or money it takes to have two horses and still keep my family happy and healthy. I'm very sad.

THIS SUCKS.

Down, down down

2011-08-19T18:09:00.002-05:00

Unfortunately my great situation for Kaswyn didn't work out today. A few other avenues that I explored today also didn't pan out.

I'm trying really hard not to get discouraged here.

On the plus side, the new horse vetted very well yesterday. Flex tests were negative for lameness. The x-rays showed two minor issues but nothing that should cause lameness now or in the long term. I want to make an offer on this horse but I'm hesitant until I can get a plan that works.

Right now I could do a partial self-care on both horses where Kaswyn is. It would take a lot of work on my part, but I guess I'll just need to suck it up if that's what I want to do. I'd have to clean their stalls twice a week, buy and deliver my own hay and grain. I guess it's workable. I have a place that will sell me about 100 bales right now, but that will only last me about 3 months for both horses. Then I will need to get creative.

Maybe I just suck it up, buy the horse and do the partial self-care until I can come up with an easier and more affordable plan. I know I won't be able to do it long term - I'll get too burned out.

And I thought this would be easy? HA!

Do the pieces fit?

2011-08-17T17:35:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow my trainer and I will take the possible new horse to be vet checked.

If he passes, on Friday I will be visiting a farm for a potentially great situation for Kaswyn.

If both things work out, I will have to move both horses - to different barns. Not the perfect setup as I had imagined it, but it feels like these scenarios are presenting themselves for a reason.

It's like the pieces of the puzzle are falling into place. There is still a lot that needs to happen to make this work, but right now it's looking very promising that I will be able to purchase this new horse and have it NOT be a financial strain.

Here's hoping!! Send good vibes my way, huh?

I think that outfit might be wearing HER

2011-08-16T14:08:00.003-05:00

So, today was "dress like a cowgirl" day at camp. Macey dressed herself.

If you can't tell, she is wearing a pink shirt, with a denim vest and skirt, pink striped knee socks (with purple roses on them), and paddock boots. It's... um, interesting.

After seeing what Macey was wearing, Lily opted not to dress up. Can you blame her?

Whoa. Not so fast...

2011-08-14T19:34:00.003-05:00

Well, I might not be buying a new horse after all.

I'm certainly not completely ruling it out, but it's not looking really feasible right now. It all comes down to money.

Yes, I had a plan to have my friend lease Kaswyn, and that would have been great. But my friend looked at her finances and said she didn't think she could really pull it off. Which made me think - what would I do if I were leasing Kaswyn to anyone, and they had to end the lease? And then what if I couldn't get another person to lease him? I can't afford both horses, and I can't knowingly put my family in a bad financial situation by owning two horses. Basically two luxury items.

I'm still thinking about ways I can make this work, but nothing has been workable so far. I'm not giving up just yet, but I'm not hopeful.

Letting it go

2011-08-06T19:26:00.004-05:00

So I still get weepy when I think that I'll never ride Kaswyn down the centerline again at the upper levels, but now that I've finally made a decision that I'm not going to try to get him back to where he was I'm much better. In fact, I'm considering buying that young horse. Seriously considering it.

Here is the thing - I like to show. I've been showing other people's horses for the past few years while Kaswyn has been off, and it's nice and all but it comes with certain issues. I can't always do what I want to do with a horse that is not mine. And since my horse will never be fit for me to show again, I really would like to have another horse. A horse that I can train how I want to, ride when I want to, and show how and when I want.

The idea is tearing me up though. I can't just dump Kaswyn, but I can't afford to board two horses. I want Kaswyn to be where I can see him - maybe not every day but at least a few times a week. I have thought through several options, and I think what is going to work out right now is to lease Kaswyn out for someone to lightly ride him 3 times a week. That will keep him fit and moving and will offset some of the cost of having two horses. And I'll still be able to see him every time I come to the barn, and I will probably be able to ride him also.

I've leased out Kaswyn before when I've had financial problems, and it wasn't always the best thing for him, and hasn't always ended well. But right now my friend is considering leasing him so she can get more experience riding. She's what I'd call and advanced beginner and really just needs miles in the saddle. This might sound bad, but she doesn't know enough to do anything to screw him up. Just walk trot and canter, and try to get him on the bit. Easy for him, and practice for her. And Kaswyn stays at the barn where I can see him, and watch her ride him, so I know what is going on.

I do feel terrible, like I'm cheating on Kaswyn. I wasn't looking for another horse. Not even considering it. But this horse came to the barn, for sale, and I thought he was neat so I got a chance to ride him. And then I thought he was something special. Smart, willing, eager to please, and really nice gaits. He's a six year old purebred Arabian gelding who has shown three times in the Arabian Hunter Pleasure ring, where he won some classes. But he's not going to be a National contender and his owners have too many horses so he has to go.

For a dressage horse he's very nice though, and I thought he had potential. So I had my trainer come and give me a lesson on him to get her opinion. Not only did she say "You're not crazy for liking this horse.", she said "This horse reminds me of Kaswyn as a six year old." And after she mentioned it, I could see the similarities. Long neck, sweet face, tall and narrow, smart and willing. But then she said "This horse has better gaits than your horse."

The price is right, and my blacksmith also thinks he's nice and that I should buy him. So I have an appointment for a pre-purchase exam on August 18th. I'll make my final decision based on what my vet says, but I really do like this horse.

Today my friend come out and rode Kaswyn, and I rode the young horse. I watched Kaswyn go and he really did look good. And for a little bit I was scared that I was making the wrong decision. That maybe I shouldn't buy this new horse, and that I should stick with Kaswyn and try to make it work. But I tried for SIX YEARS to make that work, and he's 20 years-old now. Sure he looked good. All she was doing was getting him on the bit to walk, trot and canter him. That doesn't mean he can go do a fourth level test, today or any day in the future.

So, I think it is time to let the dream go, but hold onto the horse. Eventually I will retire him completely and let him live out his life in a pasture someplace. He's not there yet, but I need to stop trying to push him into something that I want, and that he will do if I ask, but something that is beyond his physical ability. That's setting us both up for failure.

He has already given me things that some people only dream about - three National Championships, three Reserve National Championships, multiple Regional titles, and the chance to ride at the FEI dressage levels. I think I'm making the best decision for him, and for me. I still doubt myself, and at times I feel really terrible about the whole thing.

I think I'm doing the right thing, but I'm still scared that I'm not. I guess the only way I'll know for sure is if it turns out ok or if it goes horribly wrong. I'll letcha know.

Heart made of lead

2011-08-03T10:11:00.005-05:00

I had a very sad revelation yesterday.

I rode Kaswyn and we worked on our usual stuff of the moment - straightness, some circles, and then I fooled around a little bit with some flying changes just for fun.

Then I rode this new horse, a six year old purebred Arabian gelding (who I have really become quite smitten with... more on that later) and I realized that this young horse has a lot of go. I had to take my spurs off and didn't have a whip, and this young guy was still flying. He doesn't get the half halt yet, but we're working on it. He had plenty of go left in him 45 minutes later, even after a lunge before I rode him.

Kaswyn used to have a lot of go. Yesterday I had to push him a lot to keep him going.

Kaswyn used to be like this young horse. Now he's not.

I know he loves to see me, and he probably likes to be ridden, but I'm not sure he really enjoys the work anymore. I didn't really see it until I had something to compare it to. Now I can't ignore it, even though I want to.

For all my insistence that "I'm not going to retire him!" and "He doesn't want to retire!" and "I WILL NOT RETIRE HIM." I'm starting to think that it's time. What do you think?

I'm just devastated.

Do you strap one on?

2011-07-30T21:50:00.002-05:00

This email from Lyndsey White (co-founder riders4helmets - http://www.riders4helmets.com/) just came through on the horse bloggers email list.

"A special video presentation by US Olympian Courtney King Dye who suffered a traumatic brain injury in March 2010 opened the 2nd Riders4Helmets Helmet Safety Symposium on July 23rd. The video was posted just 48 hrs ago and has already been viewed nearly 7000 times. To view the video please visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awJDYBhBPzk. To view reports of the symposium visit www.riders4helmets.com. ALL video presentations from the symposium will shortly be posted on theriders4helmets youtube channel at www.youtube.com/riders4helmets. PLEASE can you help to get this video of Courtney circulated, it may just save some lives if people make the choice to wear a helmet."

I didn't used to, but years ago I decided that I would always wear a helmet when I ride. If you don't wear a helmet, check out the video. I hope it changes your mind.

Every ride, every time.

Crooked to the left, crooked to the right

2011-07-30T06:58:00.003-05:00

Sometimes it's just really hard to make any progress.

It seems like it's always something. Either Kaswyn is having an issue or I am. Recently it has been me. Two weeks ago I got really sick and spent three solid days in bed. Then a few days ago I had a really severe asthma attack and had to stay indoors and away from dust and mold for three days while my meds reduced the inflammation in my lungs. It's frustrating.

Kaswyn has been doing pretty well despite my absences. Our big issue right now is with straightness. I know that can be an issue for any horse, but I think his shoulder problem is so tied to his tendency to be crooked that we really need to fix it. It's just hard because when he is straight he feels crooked to me.

So I really have to ride with someone around to tell me if he's straight. I try riding off the rail and concentrate on keeping him straight between my legs, but he can get profoundly crooked in one stride and some times I just don't feel it. We don't have mirrors (oh, how I wish we had mirrors!) so without someone there to tell me "his haunches are off to the right" I can really miss his crookedness.

And he's such a wiggly worm that if I try and straighten him he often over-corrects and swings his butt way far the other way. Then I try to correct that and before you know it we're fishtailing down the arena.

The good news is that the area on his pastern from the surgery seems almost completely normal. He has a slight bump there, but it's not super sensitive like it was before. I can brush it and rub it and he doesn't seem to mind most of the time. Occasionally, if he hasn't been out of his stall yet that day, he'll be a little reactive to me touching it, but nothing like before. So that makes me feel better.

His attitude seems really good right now too. He's grabbing his halter and being cheeky when I groom him or walk him, and is very ready to work. He doesn't have as much energy as I'd like, but it's been really hot and humid so maybe that's playing a part. We don't work that long, so maybe I need to start increasing the length of our workouts to bump up his stamina. I don't want to work him harder and make him sore though, so I'll be careful. He's starting to get some nice muscling along his back. Overall he looks pretty good for twenty years old!

I am getting to ride other horses too, which is always fun. I'm not riding Lee anymore (which sucks cause he was so much fun - he is still for sale though) but I get rides every now and then on other horses that are coming in for conditioning or sale. Every new horse I sit on only helps to improve my riding, and I'm all for that.

I'm hoping to get a lesson on Kaswyn with my trainer when her summer show schedule winds down a little. I'd love to hear what she thinks of how he's going right now. Hopefully it will be good news!

Cute boy

2011-07-22T17:41:00.003-05:00

So it's not news that's it's been hot around most of the country recently, and our neck of the woods was no exception. For the past two days I didn't ride Kaswyn because, well, he's no spring chicken anymore and I figured we could wait until it got less obnoxious heat-wise. No sense in pushing it and making him feel icky.

I still went out to visit him, walk him, and give him a cool shower. Today when I was hand walking him I decided to reach over and scratch his itchy spot on his withers while we walked. Kaswyn had other ideas.

The second he figured out what I was doing he planted his feet and nickered at me in the most adorable way possible, and then proceeded to make that "I'm in heaven" face he gets when I scratch that spot. For a second I thought that maybe he just nickered at another horse or something, so I scratched him for a few minutes and then we walked some more. Then I went to scratch him and he did it again - stop, nicker, and make faces.

SO ADORABLE.

I know, it's probably just me, but I was just so touched that my horse was talking to me, and not just when he saw me coming towards his stall (which could always mean food, so having a nicker or whinny handy is always helpful). It's like he wanted to say thanks for scratching me there, cause you know I love it.

Well, thank YOU buddy. You deserve all those scratches, and more.

Hesitant

2011-07-18T17:31:00.002-05:00

So I haven't done an update on Kaswyn in awhile, mostly because I'm afraid to put this down in print, or even utter the words.

He's been sound.

I've been working really hard, but very slowly with the biomechanics stuff, and had been riding him in a bareback pad for a few months. This was because I just wasn't getting the feel of when he was straight or crooked, or when he threw his shoulder or haunches this way or that way when I was riding in a saddle. So I went to the bareback pad and really concentrated on his body and how it was moving.

Our rides consisted of lots of walk work to begin with. Slow walking steps, as in - he'd take a step and then there was a pause before he put the next foot down. This pause caused both of us to slow down and really pay attention to what was happening. With that slow tempo it was easy for me to feel a shift in his body if he was going to get crooked, and then I could correct it before he stepped.

In that slow walk, we made squares, and when turning the corner I'd ask him to bring the inside shoulder over to the inside, and move the haunches to the outside while keeping his body straight to make the square corner. Not that he's going to do that when we make a round turn in dressage though. It's all about control, and what I needed to learn and then teach him to do was slow down and move his body when and how I wanted it to go, instead of flinging himself all over the place and overreacting to my leg or seat. Kaswyn's very sensitive and wiggly, and he can get crooked in a half a stride. It can be maddening!

Also in the slow work I concentrated on having him lift his back into each stride. This is hard work, even at a slow walk, but he needed to lift into each stride and not hollow his back. This required a lot of leg but a light seat, and more than once I got a piaffe out of him because he was just not getting it. The few piaffe steps accomplished what I needed, because he lifted his back, so then I would tell him to walk and then try and keep the back up there. It doesn't sound like hard work, but it really is.

When I had that going pretty well, I added the trot. The hardest thing was convincing him that he could actually trot off from that slow, lifted back walk, and lift into a straight trot without needing to contract his back or get crooked. Now, it was a slow trot, not collected, but slow, and he needed to do all the same things at the slow trot that I had asked him at the walk. Control the body, slow the thinking, keep the back up. Even harder work than the walk. It was very low impact on his legs and joints because I wasn't asking for collection, but lots of work for his back.

Incidentally, his back has not been sore at all, and I can tell from our shoulder stretches that his left shoulder is much looser than it was before I started all of this. Oh, and I'm not just coming up with this stuff on my own, although I wish I had been smart enough to think of it. The biomechanics lady has been my guide through the whole thing, plus the chiropractor who identified some physical issues in Kaswyn. Without them I could never have done this.

When I thoguht the trot was ok (but not perfect yet, I knew that) I moved on to the canter, which was even harder than the trot. I've been working a few weeks of this on my own and I really need a session with my biomechanical lady. I hope that happens tomorrow.

Anyhow, last week I put the saddle back on him and after we did our walk and trot work I asked him for a normal working trot. He hesitated, and hung back a bit, being unsure if that is what I really wanted. But then he went on and did it. And it felt pretty good. I asked two trainers who happened to be there that day what they thought. They both said he was even strided, but was throwing his haunches right.

Well, damn. It's not perfect yet, but I know it's getting better. We'll keep working on it.

Flip Camera winner!

2011-07-14T10:00:00.002-05:00

The winner of the Purina Flip camera (chosen by random drawing) is OnTheBit! Please send me your mailing address at dressagemomblog@yahoo.com so I can ship you your camera! I hope you have lots of fun with it.

Thanks to everyone who entered the contest. Now I have a whole list of blogs to check out!

Updates on Kaswyn will be coming...when I get the time to sit down and write! Summer is always crazy!

Win a Flip camera from Purina

2011-06-29T06:03:00.004-05:00

Purina is running a program called "60 Day Challenge" where they say "Try Purina® feed for 60 days and you'll see the difference in your animals or we'll buy back the feed. " They'll send you feed coupons and there is a place on the web site for you to upload photos and share your story about how Purina feed has made a difference in your horse (or other animal, the program is open to the many species of animals that they manufacture food for).

Purina has sent me a Flip video camera and a coupon for a free bag of feed to give away to my readers.

Here is how to enter my contest -

1) Add a comment to this post.

2) In the comment, give the name and address of a horse blog that you like. It can be your favorite, or a new one that you've discovered, just so it's a horse blog.

3) It's okay to list the same blog as somebody else, but I'd like the comments section to be full of new blogs for people to read. Oh, and don't name this blog - I already know about this one. ;)

4) When the contest period ends I'll randomly select one commenter to receive the free video camera and feed coupons!

5) Contest will end at midnight on July 13. That's two weeks to comment.

Even if you don't want to comment, you should sign up for the challenge anyway. Purina will send you coupons for feed - all you have to do is sign up. Even if you board your horse I'm sure you can work out an arrangement to have the value of the coupons taken off of your board bill. I know that I've been able to do that. Or, give the coupons away to someone who has their horses at home. We all know someone like that. Or donate your coupons to a local shelter or rescue. Either way, it's money off of feed and everyone can use that!

So go find a horse blog, comment, sign up for the challenge, and maybe you can win a Flip camera courtesy of Purina!

Back in the saddle

2011-06-26T06:32:00.002-05:00

It's strange to take a week off from riding, but I did it.

Not because something was wrong, but because our whole family went on vacation to Turks and Caicos (small islands in the Caribbean) to a Beaches resort for a week to celebrate my parents 50th wedding anniversary. It was a fantastic time! All inclusive (yes, booze too), plenty of sun and sand, and lots of activities for the kids.

Back home now, and I'm heading out to the barn today. I hope my rides don't make me sore! Ack!

Can't wait to see Kaswyn!. I'll most likely get the cold shoulder since I left him for a week. I hope carrots will get me some forgiveness.

ShowSheen Contest Winners!

2011-06-18T18:49:00.003-05:00

I got pictures of some very dirty horses for the ShowSheen contest! Each of the winners will get a free bottle of the new ShowSheen! (Click here to see a quick video of the new ShowSheen).

And the winners are -

Mary Coleman
Valerie Conforti
Jennifer Crowe
Lisa McClarren Sintic
Lexi Passaro

Please email your mailing addresses to dressagemomblog@yahoo.com so I can get your prizes to you. Thanks for playing!

And a big thanks to Absorbine for supplying the prizes!

Topics of interest, in three parts. Part 3.

2011-06-17T07:42:00.004-05:00

One more day to send me your dirty horse picture to win a can of the new ShowSheen ! Go here for details.

Part 3 - The road before us, as I see it now.

Craig has talked to me before about my horse, obviously. But last time I had a big ol' crisis he gave it a lot of thought and has this epiphany. This time, be must have known my breakdown was coming, because he approached it not with anger or frustration, but with compassion and understanding.

He sat down with me on the couch where I was moping and weeping and said "I know you're hurting, and I'm really sorry that Kaswyn isn't back where you want him to be. But try and think of it this way. I'm 42, and most days something on me hurts. You're 42 and I know you hurt every day. Kaswyn is middle aged, just like we are. I'll bet he hurts every day too, but you don't know that it's from his leg or his injury or whatever. He might just hurt from being old, like we are.

"Our aches and pains don't keep us from doing the things we want to do. You hurt, and you ride. He wants to be ridden, so on the days you think he hurts, just walk him around and put him away. On his good days, do whatever you want. Hurting doesn't mean it's over."

Of course, I cried some more, but less from thinking about my horse but more from the warm fuzzies I got from Craig. I composed myself, went out to the barn, and made sure I paid attention to Kaswyn's non-verbal signals.

He whinnied to me three times as I was getting his halter, and played the "I'm going to grab the halter in my mouth so you can't get it on!" game. Took me three tries to get it on his face. That's always a good sign. When he hurts he just stands there like a statue when I halter him. I'm the only one he plays that halter game with, by the way. Stinker.

When I groomed him he was trying to bite the crossties, grabbing my shirt, whacking me with his tail. Again, all good signs. When he hurts he's really rather stoic and quiet. So I tacked him up and rode him. I did about ten minutes of the biomechanical workout stuff, but then since he was feeling good I did some easy upper level stuff that he likes. One line of leg yield at the trot, each way. One line each direction of trot and canter half passes. And one line of flying changes, every third stride (every one was prompt, clean, and through).

Then we took a walk around the property outside. I untacked him, did his stretching exercises, and gave him one gram of bute (plus a few pony cookies). Then he had the next day off. The day after that I went to ride him he was also feeling good so we repeated the whole thing.

Last night I had another session with the biomechanical lady. She said that he's the most sound that she's ever seen him, and that his back is really starting to muscle up and he's getting his topline back. This is all good news to me. I'm not going to ride him in a training ride today, but I want to take him on another walk around the property and give him an easy day. We'll go bareback in a halter and just enjoy each other.

So the plan is this. Observe his mood, and ride accordingly. If he gives me the green light, ride him, do some training, have a little fun at the end (without overly taxing him), stretch him, love him, give him one gram of bute, and put him away. Then give him the next day off, no bute, but turnout time with his buddy. This plan might eventually get us back into real training, but if not I think I might be okay with that. If he feels bad, walk him, groom him, stretch him, love him, and put him away. Tomorrow might be a better day.

Topics of interest, in three parts. Part 2.

2011-06-16T13:00:00.002-05:00

First - send me your dirty horse pictures to win a can of the new ShowSheen ! Go here for details. Contest ends June 18.

Now, Part 2. The emotions of last week's dressage show.

I went to a dressage show this past weekend. I've been to lots of dressage shows, mostly with Kaswyn, but I have gone to other shows without my horse and have ridden other horses. For a variety of reasons, this last show was different.

Kaswyn has been "not quite right" for six years now. I've done just about everything I could to return him to work. I did actually show him in 2009, at this exact show, but I only rode one test and scratched the other two because he wasn't right. He scored a 62% (I think) at Fourth Level Test 3, but I knew he didn't feel right.

We've been doing biomechanical and chiropractic therapy on him, and for a few weeks he seemed to improve. Then he went right back to being off. He was taking a short stride on that left front again, and I could tell by the way he acted that he was in pain before we even started. I can tell by the way he greets me, how he acts when I put his halter on, how is is when I groom him. He's usually very social and mouthy with me, and it drives me nuts sometimes but when he does that I know he's feeling good. When he's quiet and withdrawn, I worry. He'd been like that for two weeks prior to the show.

I was signed up to show Lee at the show. His trainer showed him on Friday, so I would get two rides on Saturday. I love showing Lee, cause he's fantastic. But I showed Kaswyn a lot at this show, and at different shows at this particular facility. The horse I love to show the most is Kaswyn. And he was not quite right. Again.

I cried on the way to the show. Naturally I saw a lot of people at the show that I knew. Almost all of them said "Hi! Is your boy here?" or "Hey, how is Kaswyn?" or something like that. They just wanted to know how he's doing, but each time it was like a little stab in the chest.

"No, Kaswyn's not here. He's still not quite right. So what tests are you showing?"

"Kaswyn's not in full work right now, we're struggling with an injury... How were your rides?"

"Kaswyn's okay... wow I hope it doesn't rain, look at those dark clouds..."

I held it together until a gal from my barn was asking about Kaswyn. She doesn't know the whole absurd history of his lameness issues, and wanted to know did I ever show him, was I going to show him, did I think he was going to get better, stuff like that. She's just getting into dressage, so she's interested. I started to try and explain what our current treatments are and I blurted out "I just don't know if he's ever going to get better..." and then I burst into tears.

I had to walk away and compose myself. Why did this have to be so hard? I really needed to focus on the job at hand - showing Lee. But that was getting very difficult. I was distracted by my horse and all of his issues.

When I got on Lee, I started thinking "I have to do well. I need to get good scores so that he can be sold and get a good home. I want to prove to myself that I don't NEED to show Kaswyn to be happy."

Well.

I didn't make any HUGE mistakes or anything, but I certainly didn't ride as well as I could have. Lee was great, but I wasn't on my game. I usually don't ride for "big scores" or ribbons. I ride for improvement. Riding with something to prove is not the way to go. I got a 65% and a 63%, so not terrible, but he broke from the canter to the trot in both tests. I should have felt it coming, or been more prepared, or something. But I wasn't. Shame on me. There were other things too that I didn't like. I could have ridden better but I didn't.

I cried the whole way home. Then, that night after I put the girls to bed I cried some more.

The next day I didn't want to go to the barn. Craig knew something was up, and I told him I was feeling pretty down. He asked if it was about my horse, and I started to cry - again! Then we had a conversation that, like last time my husband and I had a serious talk about my horse, has completely changed my way of thinking about Kaswyn.

Part 3 - The road before us, as I see it now

Topics of interest, in three parts. Part 1.

2011-06-15T08:27:00.005-05:00

I have three things to talk about. I'll start with the easy one - some things that I have learned from Lee.

During my last lesson on Lee with my trainer, she pointed out that I was riding crooked. That I was up off of my right seatbone, my right shoulder was up and forward, and that I was raising my right hand.

Since then I'm been concentrating on trying to fix this issue. I found that I'm much better at the trot - it's the canter that gets me twisted and not centered. I had to finally get a mental picture in my head of what I wanted to try and accomplish.

Lee is stiff side is to the right, which means he is less apt to bend around my right leg, and he is more likely to blow off my right leg if it's not doing it's job. When he was going to the right, on the right lead, I need to make sure my right leg is down and steady and that my right seatbone and leg are there to help drive him forward on the inside and keep his right hind active. To work on this I just kept thinking "your right seat bone and inside leg are the gas pedal, keep them down so you can use them to keep his impulsion". With some practice this seemed to work very well.

To the left is Lee's hollow side, which means that he wants to curl around my left leg and shove his right shoulder out to the right. This direction I need to make sure my right seatbone and leg are there to control the shoulder and create a barrier for him. If I'm up off my right seatbone and my right leg is not effective, that causes me to work too hard and my right hand comes up. Then I've totally lost control of his entire right side. To fix this, I had to keep repeating to myself "Right seat and leg need to be there to give him someplace to go, be there for him, provide support, and then use that support to keep him from drifting right". This also seems to have worked quite well.

I've also talked before about how I've had to make sure I follow Lee's head/mouth with my hands to keep a constant contact. He's such a big mover, especially at the canter, that if I keep my hands static the reins will go slack-tight-slack-tight and he gets upset about coming against my hand. I really have to let my hands go forward and back, keeping my elbows loose and flexible and the contact the same. This makes him so much happier and keeps the contact much more consistent.

The last few times I've ridden Kaswyn I started to use this following technique. I never realized just how static my hands were on my own horse until I started to let them follow the motion of the horse. This is such a huge piece of the puzzle that I really didn't totally understand until reading an article in Dressage Today. Courtney King-Dye wrote a sidebar about it in a recent issue (April 2011).

I'll try and get a link to the article, since of course I can't find that particular issue anymore so I can't even quote the parts that I'm referring to. It's a great article and I think everyone should read it. Actually, if you don't get Dressage Today you really should subscribe. It's got fantastic information for all dressage riders.

Part 2 - The emotions of last weekend's dressage show

ShowSheen for you, too!

2011-06-08T07:24:00.004-05:00

The good folks at Absorbine want you to try ShowSheen 2.0 too! So, they have agreed to give free bottles to five lucky Dressage Mom readers. Here is all you have to do -

Send me a picture of your horse at it's dirtiest. Caked with mud, dust, poop, whatever. Rinse those babies off and then let them roll in the dirt! Turn them out in that muddy paddock! Do whatever you have to do, but get them nice and dirty and get a picture. The top five dirtiest horse pictures will get a free bottle of the new ShowSheen! (Click here to see a quick video of the new ShowSheen)

You can post the pictures to my Facebook page - http://www.facebook.com/DressageMom (send a friend request if you're not a friend already) or you can email them to me at dressagemomblog@yahoo.com if you don't have a Facebook account (but you should get one, cause you could be missing out on some good stuff).

Contest ends June 18th. So, go get down and dirty!

More giveaways coming - stay tuned!

ShowSheen 2.0

2011-06-06T07:30:00.003-05:00

Absorbine contacted me and asked me if I'd like to try some of their new products. Of course I said "Sure!", cause I love Absorbine stuff.

The first thing I tried is the new ShowSheen.

First of all, the sprayer is not a pump, but a continuous mist. It will spray at any angle, even upside-down, and doesn't make any noise when you push the button on top to spray it. It smells a little different, but it's not unpleasant. I used it on Kaswyn's tail, which I keep braided up. I hadn't taken his tail down in probably two months and it was pretty tangled. The new ShowSheen was still great at helping to brush out the tangles.

One thing I did notice is that it's not as slippery feeling as the old formula, but it still gives a great shine. When I was doing Arabian shows as a kid I remember using ShowSheen on halter horses in the morning, and then having them be slippery under the saddle for their performance classes later that day. While I didn't saddle Kaswyn after I sprayed him, I imagine that he would have been less slippery - but still shiny!

One thing that I still need to "test" is how well the new formula works for tail rubbing. I don't know why, but the old formula was great to stop horses from rubbing their tails. If we saw a horse whose tail had the "bed head" look at the top, we'd saturate the top of the tail (all the way through the hair to the dock) with ShowSheen and then rub it in well and brush it. That would stop the tail rubbing. These were horses who had clean tails, and didn't need to be wormed or anything. I tend to see it with my horse in the summer when he's getting rinsed a lot after being ridden. I don't know if the water is drying his tail skin out and the ShowSheen is soothing the dryness and irritation. I just know that it works.

So I love the new ShowSheen. I would recommend it!

Next up - Natural Spray Hooflex!

Let me 'splain

2011-05-25T17:17:00.004-05:00

So, I'm done with my little temper tantrum. Sorry about that.

Yeah, it's not that big a deal that people say I should retire Kaswyn and buy Lee. I shouldn't be such an over-reactive snot about it. I was just really frustrated about Kaswyn, and I was feeling sorry for myself. Believe me, I wish I could buy Lee too. He's great, and he works well for me. I just can't afford it. That makes me sad.

So I just got overwhelmed and was feeling bad. I'm less drama queen about it now.

It helps that I have a bit of hope right now. I asked for help with the biomechanics from a gal at the barn who rode for two years with the Masso/Bio lady. This gal, T, rode Kaswyn yesterday and he was much more even when she got him straight. And he seemed very willing to do it. So hopefully she can continue to help me with him.

Masso/Bio lady had a bit of a setback - she fell from a horse, broke her leg, and had to have surgery. She hasn't been out in weeks but is coming out tomorrow to help me. I really hope I can get this whole thing sometime soon. The problem ia Kaswyn isn't straight but he's been crooked so long that it feels normal to me. If I can't feel it, I can't fix it. And right now I can't feel it!

Anyhow, sorry about the tantrum. I'll try and control my snotty self!

In the ribs

2011-05-23T09:46:00.006-05:00

Dr. Chiro came out last Thursday and gave Kaswyn another adjustment. He said that Kaswyn's left shoulder was less tight than it had been before, so the stretching has been helping him. When I told the doc that Kaswyn was still not quite even at the trot, he checked his shoulders, neck, and chest for sore sports. He found some soreness in Kaswyn's chest, right between his font legs and over on the left side.

Dr. Chrio said Kaswyn could have a rib out of place, which could be pressing on the underside of the shoulder blade and causing pain. He stood on the left side, facing Kaswyn's left shoulder, got very close to him, lifted his left leg, and wrapped his arms under the leg so he had his forearms against the left side of his chest under his leg.

When he did this, Kaswyn picked up his head and wrinkled his nose, and Dr. Chrio said "He's sore here. Now, here comes what I call the "bad Heimlich maneuver..", and with that he lifted up with a jerk to put the rib back in place.

Kaswyn made a noise I had never heard him make before. It was a combination of a grunt and a squeak, and he leaped backwards and threw his head in the air. I said "Oh my God, what was THAT?" and Dr. Chrio said "Yeah, that was painful. He really hurts there. I haven't seen a horse react that strongly to that adjustment in a long time. Usually they don't do anything except grunt a little. But that was huge. He hurts there, for sure."

Since then I've been continuing with the light riding or lunging, then stretching. Yesterday Kaswyn was certainly off when I rode him, so I only rode long enough to warm the muscles up for the stretching. My barn friends were there and I did a right shoulder stretch on Kaswyn and he threw his head up. The one gal said "Oh wow, he didn't like that. Look at his ears." Sure enough, he had his ears halfway pinned and his nose wrinkled. I tried massaging his shoulder and chest, but nothing I did seemed to work. He still had that painful look on his face.

I took him into the arena, seeing if he wanted to roll, which he usually does after he works. But he didn't want to roll. I walked him for a little bit but he still had the owie face, nose wrinkled, ears half pinned. I didn't know what else to do but put him back in his stall and give him bute.

Today he'll go outside. I'm not sure what I did yesterday that was any different than the stretching that I had been doing. I'm hoping that I just stretched something a bit farther than usual. I can't see that little me could move my horse's shoulder enough to tear something or really hurt it. I'm not that big, or that strong! So here's hoping he'll be better when I head out there tomorrow.

Unhappy

2011-05-17T11:19:00.004-05:00

Kaswyn is still not sound. He's not lame but he's still taking a short stride on the left front. I can tell that when I do the left shoulder stretches that he's sore, and it's painful.

I have Dr. Chiro coming back out on Thursday. I know that he's only had one treatment and I've only been doing the stretching and exercises for two weeks, but frankly I'm frustrated and impatient. I've done every treatment that the vets and other equine professionals have suggested. I have faithfully followed all instructions on drugs, supplements, rehab, wound care, and work schedules.

I know people mean well, but I really don't want to hear how I should retire him. There is no reason for me to retire this horse yet. If he had an "end of the line" diagnosis I would retire him immediately. If he had bad ringbone, or degenerate hocks, or scarred and ruined suspensory ligaments, then sure, I'd retire him. But no vet so far has been able to find anything but a little arthritis in his left rear fetlock (that he's had for ten years) and spots on his navicular bone, which he can't feel now due to the neurectomy. Nothing that should be keeping this horse in pain. So I'm not giving up yet. Stop telling me to. I WON'T.

I can't afford to buy Lee. Rather, I can't afford to keep two horses. So no, Lee can't be my next horse. Yes, it would be fun to buy and own him. But I can't. And even if I did I would not stop trying to heal my Kaswyn.

So, I'm sending a plea to the horse healing gods out there. For 14 years Kaswyn was sound, and I was lucky. For the past five and a half he's had issues. I've done my time, paid my vet bills. Please let this saga be over. Help me find a way to heal my horse.

I'm not giving up.

Butterflies

2011-05-08T19:09:00.003-05:00

Many people get butterflies when they are about to compete in a show. I don't get nervous, but I get the "really excited" kind of butterflies. Today I wasn't at a show but I got really excited.

The instructions from Dr. Chiro were that I was to warm Kaswyn up before I started the stretching exercises. So I lunged Kaswyn instead of riding him so that I could see him move. He was totally sound and even at the trot going to the left. He looked as good as he did after those neuroma injections last year. The canter looked a little weird, so I stopped him from doing that. He was just a tiny bit uneven at the trot to the right. I didn't even canter him right.

After the lunging I did the stretching. First was neck stretches, where I take a treat and stand at his side and get him to stretch his neck around his body as far as he can towards his tail. Well, he has full range of motion back in his neck. His nose was almost at his stifle, he was folding his neck so much. Loved it!

Next I did the leg stretch where I pull each front leg out straight forward, then onto the shoulder exercises. I'm not totally sure that I'm doing these properly, but I know that each side feels different. I tried to watch the shoulder blade as I lifted the leg up, and I think he's still tighter on the left. But it's hard for me to see when I'm jammed up against his shoulder.

I know we have just started this different kind of rehab and treatment, and that we have a long way to go. But when I saw my horse trot strong, sound, and even on the end of a lunge line, knowing that he was completely drug free, I got show butterflies. The excited kind. And it was GOOD.

~Also, Happy Mother's Day to all you horsie moms out there. And human moms too. :)

Great session

2011-05-06T19:57:00.005-05:00

Tonight I had a fantastic session with the chiropractor that my massotherapy/biomechanics lady recommended for me. He's a human chiropractor but he got into horses when his daughter started riding. She encouraged him to learn about horse chiropractic, and he took courses and learned all about it.

He arrived and I got Kaswyn out. He asked how old he was, what he did, and what his problems were. Sheesh, where to begin? I gave him a quick rundown of "Well, he had a neurectomy five years ago, then recently had neuroma surgery, but recently he's been having neck issues." I told him how he was holding his neck stiffly and that Masso/Bio lady thought he might have some neck vertebrae out of alignment.

So he checked his back and found one sore spot, which went away right after he adjusted it. He didn't find anything in the haunches, but then moved to the neck and shoulder. He found two vertebrae that were out of alignment - one was twisted one way and one was twisted the other. He adjusted Kaswyn's neck and I heard it pop! I could also see where there was a bulge on the left side of his neck even after the adjustment. He said that was probably due to inflammation.

But the real cool stuff was when he started looking at Kaswyn's shoulders, more specifically the actual scapula (shoulder blade) itself. He showed me how stiff the left scapula was, and that he's not surprised that Kaswyn is short striding with the left front. He said he is very sore in and around the scapula, which means that he probably has adhesions under the scapula. He explained that the scapula isn't connected to the skeleton with any joints, but with muscles and connective tissue. So if the scapula gets over worked and sore, tiny muscle tears can appear under the scapula. These tears lead to inflammation and eventually when they heal they cause little adhesions between the sheets of muscle under and around the scapula.

He demonstrated how stiff the shoulder was by showing me how to do a shoulder blade stretch. He had me lift Kaswyn's leg so the foreleg was parallel to the ground, and then cradle the foreleg in my arms so that the cannon bone and foot dangled loosely from the knee, pointing down. While doing this I was in a squatting position and very close to Kaswyn, right up against his shoulder. Then, while supporting the entire foreleg from just behind the knee to the elbow, I straightened my legs a bit to lift the whole leg and shoulder. This moved the shoulder blade upwards, and I could really feel that on the right side he was more loose and flexible. On the left he was tighter, and he reacted like he was in a bit of pain.

For therapy, Dr. Chiro told me to work Kaswyn to warm up the muscles, then do three of the shoulder lifts on each side. He said not to do too many, because Kaswyn is already very sore and we don't want to do any damage or make him more sore, we just want to start to break up those adhesions so that he can regain full use of his shoulder again. He also wants me to stretch each leg straight out in front of Kaswyn as far as it will go and hold it for a few seconds.

He said he's not surprised that Kaswyn is uneven with a short stride on the left front leg. He said that his age is working against him, since older horses tend to develop shoulder problems. This is because all the weight in the front of the horse is supported by that shoulder muscle apparatus without benefit of a skeletal tie-in to the spine. He didn't say what he thought the prognosis was, but asked me to call him in a week and let him know how Kaswyn is doing. He said he'd come out again and do another session if needed.

I'm kind of excited about this. I feel like I might finally be getting to the root of the problem. I'm hesitant to get optimistic, but everything he said made sense. The last thing he said was "You know, sometimes this works perfectly the first time. Sometimes it takes a few sessions, and sometimes it doesn't work at all."

It's been almost six years since my horse was sound and in full work. If it doesn't work the first time, I can be patient and have have it take a few sessions. We just won't talk about the last scenario. How does that sound?

Put a shine on it

2011-05-04T11:02:00.003-05:00

So on Monday I picked up the girls and they went with me to check on Kaswyn. All I wanted to do was hand-walk him and check his leg and neck, so it was going to be a short trip to the barn for me. On the way there, in the back seat, the girls started discussing horses and barns.

...

Lily: Do you remember Honey?

(Honey was a haflinger pony that the girls had ridden a few times at a different barn)

Macey: Yeah, I loved Honey, but she's not at this barn. This is a new barn.

Lily: Oh right.

(pause)

Lily: Do you remember how white her tail was?

Macey: Yeah, it was great!

Lily: And how sometimes she'd run and her tail would sparkle?

(I'm driving and thinking "What is she talking about?", but I say nothing)

Macey: Yeah, it was sparkly.

Lily: It was sparkly because of the dirt she kicked up. You know, how sometimes when the dirt is in the air and the sun hits it it sparkles?

Macey: Yeah...

Lily: But sometimes there was poo-poo mixed in with the dirt, and that didn't sparkle.

Macey: Right. Because poo-poo doesn't gleam in the sun.
...

Lesson learned

2011-05-01T20:04:00.004-05:00

So there is a little backstory about what happened last night with Kaswyn. Let me get caught up.

I've been working with the massotherapy/biomechanical lady with Kaswyn and he's been doing very well. He hasn't been lame or uneven, but we aren't doing a whole lot of work at the trot. She's trying to help me get him to move his left shoulder using his full range of motion, which he is not prone to do. She is also getting him to use his back more effectively, because she noticed that when I ask him to walk from a halt, or trot from a walk, that he contracts his back instead of coming up with his back. It's really hard for me to feel when he uses his shoulder effectively, but I'm working on it. But I think his back is looking much better and more muscled.

Thursday we had a session and he didn't have any spots on him that were sore at all. Then Friday Macey came out and just walked on Kaswyn. I didn't go out on Saturday, but Kaswyn was turned out. When I got to the barn on Sunday I was supposed to have another session with the lady, but when I took Kaswyn out of his stall he was walking funny.

He was holding his neck stiffly, and tilting his head so that his ears were pointed to the right. I walked him to the crossties and took his sheet off, but I got the feeling that he wasn't right. He just was acting odd. So the lady took a look at him and found heat in his left front (of course, the problem leg!) and lots of pain in his neck.

She worked on him and got some of the pain in the neck to go away and restored some flexibility, but said that whatever he did he really did a number on himself. She wasn't certain if the neck pain was because of him compensating for pain in the leg or if they were two separate issues. The barn manager/trainer had seen him on Saturday during turnout with his head through the fence, eating grass on the other side. Maybe he did something dumb and jerked his neck around somehow and maybe possibly did something to that leg too. So the lady had me liniment the neck, give him Banamine, put Surpass on the leg, and wrap him.

Now I had read on a blog that this gal used Surpass on her horse's leg, then wrapped it, and ended up with a blistered leg. But I thought I had read that she was using it as a sweat wrap (so she wrapped the leg in plastic wrap before she put the standing wrap on) so I thought I'd be okay with just the wraps and no plastic.

Well at 7:00 pm I got the call that he was acting like he was distressed. I called the barn manager/trainer and she suggested that maybe his wraps were bothering him. So I called the gal from the barn back and asked her to pull his wraps and see if he was better. I waited a few minutes, thinking she might call or text me back, but when I didn't hear from her I headed out to the barn.

I got a text from her when I was half-way there, saying that he was fine now that the wraps were off. By the time I got to the barn Kaswyn was standing quietly in his stall, in his napping position. He had finished his dinner and was looking normal, and happy to see me. Since I was there he figured he should be doing something, so I hand-grazed him for a few minutes, then put him in his stall. He seemed perfectly fine, and even took a big drink of water.

So it would appear that the Surpass plus the wrap had irritated him enough that he was distressed. The leg might have been on it's way to blistering, but the skin looked fine. Next time I'll know - don't use Surpass and wrap the leg! At least on my horse. Your mileage may vary.

Oh no

2011-05-01T18:07:00.002-05:00

Just got the call that every horse owner hates - "Your horse is acting funny - pawing, circling his stall, and didn't finish his dinner." Crap. 7:00 pm on a Sunday. Lets hope it's just his wraps irritating him and not colic.

Of course I'm heading out there now. I hope after they pull his wraps that he settles down, If not, hello emergency vet call!

Spreading the word

2011-04-25T14:16:00.003-05:00

A few years ago I decided I should be wearing a helmet every time I ride. I didn't used to wear one, but once I had kids I thought it was just the smart thing to do. Now I gently question people who don't wear helmets just because I think it's a good idea to wear a helmet, even on a horse you consider to be "bomb proof."

Well, here's another good idea. Riders 4 Helmets. It's a great organization, and they are giving away some great prizes in this contest.

From their website -

"The popular helmet awareness campaign Riders4Helmets.com has partnered with generous sponsors to offer the largest ever giveaway of riding helmets with a combined value of over $6,500, in addition to a highly sought after iPad2. Visitors to the Rolex KY 3DE (April 28-May 1) may visit the Riders4Helmets area in the “old” indoor arena to register for the giveaway, receive helmet safety literature, and, have the opportunity to participate in helmet fitting demonstrations (times available online). Equestrians who are unable to attend Rolex may register for the giveaway by visiting this link. The giveaway closes midnight on May 1st, 2011."

So either stop by their booth at Rolex or visit their link to enter.

Also, go buy a helmet! And wear it, for goodness sake.

Home again

2011-04-24T17:40:00.002-05:00

We made it home from the show. It was only a three day show but I'm really super tired. I'll give all the details when I have the energy to write them down. Macey took a nap on the way home from the show, so right now she's in "play with me!" mode. Luckily Daddy has the energy not only to unload the car (major points there) and is playing Crazy 8's with Macey.

For me it's a shower and bed. But overall it was a great weekend. She wants to go to more shows, so I think I'm going to have to start teaching her how to really ride. This kid has talent and desire. We shall see where this takes her.

Nothing is better then attempting to share your passion with your daughter, and finding out that she has talent and passion for it also. I'm so proud, and blessed.

I love my family. And my friends, old and new, who made this possible. You guys are awesome.

Very tired now, so it's the shower for me. Lots of pics of the show on Facebook, and if you friend me you can see them! http://www.facebook.com/DressageMom . I might eventually move them here but that will take more time and energy than I have right now. So let me be lazy and friend me if you want to see them NOW. Or wait and don't whine. Your choice. :)

On the road

2011-04-22T07:51:00.003-05:00

I haven't really talked about this yet, but today I'm leaving to go to a horse show. It's an all Arabian show that has Sport Horse Under Saddle classes, but no dressage. I'll be showing Lee in the Half-Arabian Sport Horse Under Saddle Amateur class, as well as April in the Purebred Arabian Sport Horse Under Saddle Amateur class. It's going to be a lot of fun, since I haven't shown at an Arabian show in a non-dressage class since Kaswyn was five!

It gets even better though. Macey is coming with me. As you know, she is all about riding and loves horses. Lily, her older sister, thinks horses are stinky. This is weird coming from Lily, because she's anything but a girly-girl and is more like a tomboy with her love of Legos, Bakugan, and video games. But she's too prissy for horses. Go figure.

Macey, who is all about princesses and plastic jewelry, loves horses and doesn't mind getting dirty. When I found out that my friend Tracey from the barn was bringing her five-year-old daughter to the show, I thought it would be great fun to bring Macey along. Then I found out that Tracey's daughter would be showing in the Lead Line class, and I knew that Macey would be super upset if her new barn buddy was showing and she didn't get to show.

So I sprang into action, and with the help of some good people, secured a horse for Macey, as well as a complete hunt seat outfit for her. It's going to be great. I don't know the horse we will be using but I've been assured by more than one person that this horse is fantastic and will be a perfect gentleman for the class. I'm really looking forward to it.

If you think I'm excited, you should see Macey. This morning she was practically vibrating. I'm leaving work early to pick her up and then we'll drive three hours to get to the show. I have to show Lee in the evening session tonight so we need to get there by 4:00. Then I'll show April Saturday morning, and Macey will show in the Saturday afternoon session.

I'll post pictures on Facebook if I can. If you haven't already done so you can friend me at http://www.facebook.com/DressageMom and see what pictures I manage to get. It might be a totally crazy weekend, because there will be five little girls going with our group. Yikes!

Send good horse show ju-ju our way!

Searching for the feel

2011-04-19T09:54:00.003-05:00

Kaswyn and I have been working really hard with the things that the biomechanical/massotherapy horse lady has been helping me with. She's not telling me anything that I shouldn't already know, but I'll admit that I'm not as good as I should be about being able to recognize when a horse is crooked or not. I can tell of they are totally whacked out in one direction or other, but I miss the subtle things.

I know it's just a matter of practicing and getting used to evaluating the straightness of a horse. I really blew off that part of my dressage training, and now it shows. I'm getting better at being able to feel and see it on other horses, but with Kaswyn it's almost impossible for me to tell.

Here is the thing - I've been riding this horse for 16 years. He's always been crooked to some degree. So that feels okay to me. Sure he's had periods of being straighter than others, but I think in general I was always very bad at getting, and keeping him, straight.

Also he's very sneaky about being able to be on the bit but not using his back at all. Massotherapy Lady called me on that BIG TIME. So right now our two main areas of focus are - get him to move his shoulders left and haunches right in order to straighten him out, and get him to use his back all the time without cheating.

That's the hard part. She wants him to be using his back and abdominals with every step. I'm not always good about catching it when he drops out from under me a little bit, so I'm not sure if I'm doing it right all the time. She wants me up off of his back, like you would a very young horse, to allow him to bring his back up. It's really hard for me NOT to sit down on him and drive him with my seat!

I think we are making progress, but it's so hard to tell. I'm trying really, really hard, and I actually think his back is looking better - less swayed and more muscled and filled in. He certainly is happy about being ridden, so that is a plus. When I have someone there to watch me they say that when I get him straight (no small feat there) that he looks sound and even. It's really hard for me to tell how he feels, since the way I'm riding him is such a huge departure from what I'm used to. I don't have my seat to give me information, because I'm posting and I'm forward almost in a two-point position. So I'll get tips like "Haunches more towards the wall" or "Shoulders more to the left" and I'll do that, and they say "Now that's better" but I can't FEEL it. And that is frustrating. I mean, I thought I knew how to ride? Argh!

On a more positive note, his left front pastern is not as sensitive as it once was, but he still objects when I rub it with the lavender oil. I think that if I keep massaging the area that it will break up some of those adhesions and maybe make it less sensitive.

The good thing is I use the lavender oil after my ride, and it have a very pleasant scent. So if I have a frustrating ride at least I come out of it in the end smelling nice.

Biomechanics and Lavender Oil

2011-04-13T07:18:00.007-05:00

Last Friday the equine massotherapist/biomechanics lady came out to see Kaswyn. I gave her a quick rundown of his past injury history, and that's really all I told her. She got to work first by checking his neck, shoulders, back, and haunches, and didn't really find any significant soreness.

Then she went to the left front leg, and when she got down to the pastern of course Kaswyn picked up the foot suddenly, as if it was painful. She gently palpated the area, and then began rubbing it. She started making faces and saying "Ugh...wow... yuck.." So I said "Does it feel bad in there?" And she said "Well yeah, it feels really terrible... yuck..." And then she started gagging.

Now, the other gals who had worked with her told me that she was very empathic with horses, and people, and it was almost eerie how she could read your feelings. So I said "Are you okay?" and she said "Yes, I'll be fine. It just feels so bad in there that it's making me gag. Don't worry, I'm not going to throw up, but it makes me feel just awful. You see, I feel energies coming off of people and horses, and the energy right here is pretty awful. Hopefully I can get him to release and just let go of all that yuckyness." After a minute or two Kaswyn lost that worried look on his face and softened his eye and started to lick his lips and chew his mouth. Then she said "Ahh, that's better. It's not gone, but it's better."

Then she said "It's weird, I'm getting a feeling from him that I don't usually get from horses. I usually get it from people. It's like when a person breaks their leg during ski season, and they feel like they are missing out on skiing. That's what I'm getting from him. He's sick of all of this and he just wants to go back out and play with you. He feels like he's missing out." Weird, huh? That made me almost cry.

She continued to work on his pastern until he felt better, then said "Okay, we're done with that. Let me get out my coil." So went out to her car and got a tub of equipment, and pulled out this coil thing. It looked like copper tubing coiled around into a giant hot-dog shape. It's called an Acu-Vac-Coil and you can check them out here. They are supposed to be able to pinpoint pain energy and alert the user by a vibration of the coil. She positioned the coil all around his pastern and was shaking her head. Finally she said "I'm just not getting that he has pain here. Let's see you ride him."

Since I had been riding him bareback I got on without a saddle but with a bridle. She watched us walk around a few large circles and said that Kaswyn is not rotating the forward most thoracic vertebrae to the left. These are the first vertebrae where the withers are and they sit right in front of the saddle. He will rotate them to the right and take a normal step with his right leg, but then will not rotate them left when he steps with the left leg. This is causing his shoulder (or withers or upper back/neck area) to inhibit the full motion of the left front leg, so that leg is taking a short stride.

We then worked on having him walk on a circle to the left and rotate the shoulder to the left and take a full step left and forward. She was coaching me through it, but for the life of me I could not feel the difference when she said "Now you have the shoulder!" and "Ok, you lost the shoulder." I just couldn't feel it. I wanted to, but I could not tell the difference. At one point she got on him, and I could SEE when she was able to get him to take a big step with the left leg and use his shoulder. But then when I got back on do you think I could feel it? No, I could not. And that frustrated the hell out of me.

I know she was asking me to do things I had never done before, in a different way. And I was asking Kaswyn to do things in a different way than I ever had before. But this horse is trained up the wazoo. Sure, he's out of shape, but that boy is an upper level dressage horse, is on the aids, and I should be able to put his body where ever I want to. Shoulders in, haunches out, turn on the haunches, whatever. But I couldn't do it. I was losing the haunches even when I was trying to keep them tucked, and I wasn't able to get him to just move the shoulder without moving the haunches, even at the walk. My frustration was palpable.

She told me not to worry, that I'd get it, and he would get it too. She said I need to work him in a saddle, and make sure that I get off of his back and not drive too much with my seat - which was a really hard thing for me NOT to do. She said I need to treat his back like he's a young horse and keep off of it and not drive so much. Then she said to put shoes back on him, because within six months she thinks we'll be back to training. She also said to buy some lavender essential oil to rub into his scars. It's calming to the area and will help the scars on the skin soften and not be as bad. She said she's not always right, but about 85% of the time she is. Once he had shoes back on she'd come back for another session (He has shoes back on now so she is coming this Thursday).

The gals at the barn that have used her have seen her do some pretty amazing stuff, and I personally have seen what she's done with one horse. Ivy, who used travel really close behind (so much so that she'd interfere pretty badly behind) and couldn't relax her back, is now traveling straight and wider behind. She looks great. The trainer at the barn said that she's gotten horses that have come to her labeled as "lame, total lost cause" and this lady has been able to help them and make them perfectly sound.

So I'm going to give this a go. She's not asking me to do anything weird, or harmful, to my horse. It's mostly just walking and bending and asking him to use his body a certain way. No needles, no strenuous work, nothing damaging. It is all a little bit ethereal and non-conventional, but honestly I don't care. If she told me to wave a dead chicken over Kaswyn's head and that would fix him, I'd totally do it. It's just foreign to me, but that doesn't mean it won't work.

I mean, dressage was once foreign to me, and that worked out pretty well, right?

If anyone wants more information on this lady, shoot me an email - dressagemomblog@yahoo.com and I'll give you her name and phone number. I don't know if she travels, but you can ask her!

Always in a rush...

2011-04-11T14:08:00.004-05:00

Lately I just don't know where my times goes! I'm super busy and don't have time to do a full update, but I'll give you a hint. I think this whole thing with Kaswyn is going to work out. I'm trying a new thing that has worked on other horses at our barn and I'm hopeful. I want this to work! More details later. I have to run to the barn right now - Kaswyn's getting his shoes back on and I don't want to be late! (Not like my blacksmith has EVER been late... haha!)

New things to try

2011-04-06T17:08:00.004-05:00

I haven't posted in awhile because I don't have good things to report and I hate being a whiner. I wish I could say that Kaswyn has been getting better and better. But that is not the case. He's not getting worse, but he's just not consistently sound.

On his good days he has no swelling behind the pastern, but he still flinches slightly when I touch it. He is hardly able to contain himself when I hop on him (always bareback, and usually in a halter). But he is a bit off in the corners by short striding the left front leg, and sound on the straight line. I love those days because all he wants to do is work and he feels fantastic.

On bad days he has a swollen pastern, which he ever so slightly tries to avoid putting weight on. Those days he does not want me touching the pastern at all. I will still walk him and he will feel off at the walk. But bless his heart he still wants to work through the pain. I hate those days. I usually cry quietly a little in frustration as we walk. He flicks an ear back and he know I'm upset so I talk to him and tell him I'm trying the best I can to fix him.

Tomorrow I'm having a massage therapist and biomechanics expert look at Kaswyn. Maybe she will see something she can make better. Maybe the short striding is not only due to pain but also from some muscle or alignment issue. If that doesn't work I have an appointment with Dr. G to inject that area around the pastern - NOT the pastern joint. Maybe the area just needs meds to cool it down and allow itself to heal. Maybe the combination of both will help.

I still have horses to ride, and even show, and I'm very grateful for for that. But the horse I want to ride, and show, most of all is Kaswyn.

March Show - Sunday

2011-03-22T16:00:00.003-05:00

I watched the video of Saturday's ride, and although it was a nice test I thought I could improve his gaits by allowing him to be more free and asking for more impulsion. So For Training Level test two I pushed him a little bit. Here's the test.

He got a little wild and wooly after that first canter, but other than that he did a great job for me. He scored a 68.929% and out of twelve horses he came in first place! The only other Arabian horse in the class was Pip, who scored a 63.571% and came in third. He also had the third highest score of the entire show. So close to Reserve high point!

I'm so pleased with Lee. He's really going to make somebody a fantastic dressage horse. At only four years old he acts like he's an old pro at this showing thing, and in one show has proven that he can compete against all breeds and not only be in the ribbons, but win a class with a big score. He's very willing, smart, and super laid back. He's got solid classical dressage basics and is uncomplicated to ride. I'm so very lucky to be able to ride and show him, but since he's for sale I know he won't be around forever.

If anyone is interested in owning this lovely horse, shoot me an email - dressagemomblog@yahoo.com. He is four years old, and is registered Half-Arabian (the other half is QH/Appy) and also with the Buckskin Association. He'll be in training and showing both Open and Arabian shows until he sells, and right now he's qualified for Arabian Region 14 Championships in Training Level Dressage, Open and Amateur. He only needs one more score of 62% or better to be qualified for 2011 Arabian Sport Horse Nationals. I'd love to find him a great home! He certainly deserves it.

March Show - Saturday

2011-03-21T07:12:00.001-05:00

I wasn't feeling 100% when I got to the show but I was going to ride anyway. I read a test for a friend of mine who was also showing, braided Lee, helped prep Pip for her first class. She was scared of one of the corners by the judge and spooked and carried on a bit, so during the lunch break I spent an hour with the gal riding her and we walked Pip around that end of the arena. I was hoping she'd relax and realize that nothing was going to eat her, but she still spooked in the same place in her next test. Frustrating!

Lee, however, who is only FOUR, and at his second show ever and first recognized show, went in and did a fantastic job with his test.

Yes, he broke twice at the canter and that's my fault. The first one was because I did too large of a half halt trying to get him balanced, and the second one I felt coming but wasn't quick enough with my leg to boot him up into a larger canter. Other than that I liked our ride. We scored a 64.5% and were third in a class of nine. That horse is a gem. He's for sale too, and no, I'm not buying him (but if someone wanted to wrap a bow around him and give him to me as a gift I certainly wouldn't turn him down!)

Onto Sunday, and Training Level test two!

March Show - The week before

2011-03-20T06:46:00.002-05:00

Before I get to updating on what happened at the show, let me back up and tell what happened the week before the show.

Macey had been coughing for about a week with a cold. We didn't do anything about it (because if you take them to the doctor like that they will tell you "It's a virus." and do nothing for you anyway), but then on Wednesday morning she started running a fever. So I took her to the doctor and they did a throat swab because she said her throat hurt.

The rapid strep test came back negative, but I stayed home from work and kept her home from school anyway because she had a fever. That night before bed she still had a fever so she would have to stay home the next day too, which was Thursday.

Unfortunately, at work we were super short staffed, so Craig and I traded the poor little girl off twice so we could both get our work done at our jobs. As I was in the middle of something at work the docs office called and said the overnight culture came back positive for strep. Which meant she couldn't go to school until she had been on antibiotics for 48 hours.

This meant that I wouldn't be able to go to the show on Friday like I had planned since I would be home with Macey. Turns out it was probably a good thing, because I started not feeling so well myself. I got a throat swab too, but mine was negative. But by Friday afternoon I was getting the chills and feeling generally rotten.

The plan for the show was for the trainer to ride Lee Friday night in Training Level test one, and the other gal to ride Pip First Level test one. I was going to go up and help them with all the show stuff - unpacking, setting up, warming up, tacking, braiding, all that stuff. Instead I stayed at home and felt really badly for leaving them on their own. They did very well though, with Lee getting a 61.66% and fourth place and Pip getting a 60.345% and second place. Keep in mind this is a recognized USDF/USEF dressage show and not just an Arabian show. So they did just fine without me!

But I got a good night of sleep on Friday and I headed to the show on Saturday. I was to ride Lee in Training Level test one Saturday and Training Level test two on Sunday.

Happy boy

2011-03-08T21:58:00.003-05:00

Kaswyn is happy. Right now he's sound. And so happy that I was riding him (I didn't work him hard, I just wanted to see if he was sound on a straight line instead of on a circle on the lunge line) that I could hardly keep him from cantering.

But he was sound and happy. So am I. Let's keep this up, huh?

An observation and a plan

2011-03-02T07:56:00.003-05:00

Observation: not wrapping Kaswyn's leg for one night increased the inflammation.

Not a lot, really. But the pastern was thicker than it was when it got wrapped every night. I did call the vet but he hasn't gotten back to me, so when he does I'm going to tell him about this and hopefully he'll suggest a plan to lower the bute.

I'm hoping my horse massotherapy lady can get out really soon to see Kaswyn. She's just amazing and she said she can do some lymphatic drainage that will help a lot with the swelling. She'll also teach me how to do it so I can work on it every day. The hope is eventually that I can get him off of both bute and wrapping.

Plans: I'll be showing Lee this month at an open dressage show!

The trainer that he's with will also be showing him, but I'm very very lucky that I am able to ride him and show him. He's really a peach! He'll be doing Training Level tests one and two. He's only four but he's so smart and willing. I'm very excited!

We'll plan on getting video, which I will post. He is for sale, and I hope he'll get some good scores and find a fantastic home. He's really worth considering if you're looking for a dressage horse!

Looking up

2011-02-26T18:25:00.004-05:00

Things are improving in my little horse world.

First, Kaswyn's leg has pretty much stopped swelling. It's cool and non-puffy pretty much all the time now. So the question is - what do I stop first and how do I stop it? Do I wean him off the bute and keep wrapping? Or do I stop wrapping and keep him on the bute, then wean him off the bute? I need to call Dr. G and find out what he thinks, but I think it's time to wean him off of something.

Also, his wound is just a small scab now. It's scabbed over before, but when I put pressure on those earlier scabs I got serum and gunk that would seep out along the edges. This scab is really dry and I hope that in a week or so it will fall off and I'll see skin underneath.

The next great thing is I had a fantastic lesson riding Lee on Thursday. My trainer is fabulous! In like ten minutes she completely changed how he was going. She had me give him a little rounder frame, and had me do a fantastic exercise for a young horse to help develop bend and later suppleness.

We started on a 20 meter circle at one end of the arena. She had me take hold of the inside rein, use my inside leg at the girth and really ask for true bend (bend in the direction of the circle - as in if we were going to the left then then I took on up the left rein and he was bent to the left). Then at the top of the circle, where the open end of the arena was, she had me keep the same bend but make a circle in the other direction, but a slightly smaller circle. We were then essentially making a figure eight, with the 20 meter circle on the bottom and the smaller circle, which was like between 15 and 10 meters, on the top. But I was to keep the same bend of the large circle, so on the small circle I was counter bent.

As I was preparing to make the smaller circle, I changed my diagonal on the centerline and then turned my shoulders into the circle. This, in turn, moved Lee's shoulders onto the new circle but I held the old bend, so now he was counterbent. I still pushed him with the new outside leg to keep the counter bend. The most challenging thing was keeping him on the bit, confirmed in the contact, and having adequate impulsion. After doing the exercise both directions I could feel a difference in his suppleness and ability to move through his back.

She also helped us with the canter departs by having me really make him fill the outside rein. She said "Think of the outside rein as a glass. You need to fill the glass in order for him to load the outside leg and be able to do the depart by planting that leg. That way he won't need to use his neck so much in the transition." So I really shoved him into the outside rein, and what do you know? Wonderful departs. Well, one GREAT one, the rest were at least better than before.

There is a show (Class A, USDF recognized) in three weeks. Lee will probably go to the show. I'm just not sure if I'm showing him yet. I really want to, but it's not my choice. We'll have to see!

I took a fall

2011-02-21T12:28:00.006-05:00

Yup. That's a picture of my back and the big honkin' bruise and road rash I got from falling last Friday. And I wasn't wearing my helmet! But I have a really good excuse!

See, I didn't fall off a horse. I didn't even fall AT the barn. I fell getting out of the shower. Here is how it all went down -

I got out of the shower and, as usual, dried of as much as I could while I was still inside the shower - you know, cause inside the shower is still toasty warm. When only my feet were still wet I stepped out of the shower and onto the bath mat. Then I started to dry one of my feet. I had just picked it up and wrapped the towel around it when I leaned back too far and lost my balance. I quickly put the foot I was drying back down, but then a bunch of things happened all at once.

The foot hit the tile floor and not the bath mat, and either the foot or the floor was wet.
The foot slid out from under me, so instead of catching me while I was falling it sort of helped catapult me backwards.
I tried to put my hands back to catch myself, but they were all caught up in the towel so they were of no use to me.
I fell back against the counter of the sink, and then slid down the sharp edge of the counter, grating my skin on the way down.
I landed on the floor, wedged between the toilet and the sink, with the scale tipped up over my shins and my butt in the garbage can.

I fell kinda hard, and made such a racket that the cats, which usually hang around when I take a shower, ran for their lives. When I got myself untangled from the bathroom accessories my ears were ringing. I did a quick check to make sure I wasn't broken, and then I looked at my back in the mirror.

Then I started to laugh. I wish SO much that I'd had the whole thing on camera. I'm sure I looked ridiculous! Somehow I bashed my left leg up a bit. I'm not even sure what I hit it on, since I went down in such a spectacular heap. But I sure banged it on something cause it's got three nice bruises on it. I giggled for a bit and then, of course, posted the pic to Facebook and called Craig to have him look at the picture. He was concerned that I'd hit my head and didn't know it. I'm pretty sure I didn't hit my head.

Good thing too. I really don't want to wear my helmet in the shower.

Laura says...

2011-02-17T12:16:00.003-05:00

Laura Goldman wants to give a big thank-you to everyone who sent her a card. She doesn't have internet access at the medical center so if you sent her an email she won't get it until she gets released some time in March.

She said it made her day and she was really floored. So thanks a lot. You guys are awesome.

Laura Goldman injury

2011-02-09T18:02:00.006-05:00

I got a call from Laura Goldman on Tuesday. We talk once a week or so, usually about horses and riding. This time Laura had some bad news for me. She took a bad fall and broke her hip.

She wasn't riding a horse - she fell in her kitchen, of all things! She had surgery and will be recovering in a medical center for six weeks. Well, her doctors say six weeks but she is working hard to get out of there ahead of shedule. I visited her yesterday and despite just having surgery and doing hours of physical therapy every day she is in good spirits.

If anyone out there wants to send her a card, here is her address at the medical center -

Laura Goldman
Room 105
One David N. Myers Parkway
Beachwood, OH. 44122

I am sure she would love to hear from the equestrian community that she feels so connected to. I know some horsey cards would lift her spirits and give her some inspiration when she needs it.

I'll keep you updated on her progress. Amazingly she doesn't seem discouraged and is more determined than ever to get back in the saddle!

Pictures of Lee

2011-02-08T10:56:00.004-05:00

I've been talking about Lee for months, and promising pictures and video. Well, here are two pictures.

These were taken at his first show, a dressage schooling show on November 28, 2010. He is a buckskin registered Half-Arabian gelding, and in these pictures he is three years old.

Isn't he cute? He's for sale!

I'll be posting video from that show soon.

On the Kaswyn wound front, the healing is slowly progressing. It's just taking forever to completely close up. The swelling is down and the wound looks great, but it's still there. And he still has pain and sensitivity behind the pastern. So I'm still waiting...and wrapping...and waiting...

In the meantime I get to ride Lee and Ivy (purebred Arabian mare) and sometimes Pip (Half-Arabian mare). So at least I'm keeping busy. I'm happy at the new place, and Kaswyn seems happy too. Now if winter could just be over. That would really make me happy!

Waiting

2011-02-02T10:02:00.003-05:00

I complain every year about winter. And here I go again.

I'm sick of it already and it's just February. Here in Northeast Ohio we can have snow in April. So I still have months of this crap left.

Yes I know we're having a winter storm, and it's nasty out, etc. It's not the driving on the roads that I don't like. It's being cold at the barn. I just get tired of bundling up to groom horses, then taking off the jacket to ride, taking off another layer when I get sweaty, then back on with the jacket when I'm done so I don't get chilled, and then switching the helmet for the winter hat. Put that horse away and get out the next one. Repeat the clothing shuffle.

I will say that I'm loving my Under Armour cold gear mock turtleneck. It's fantastic. The first time I rode in it it felt really weird, because I could feel air circulation but I didn't feel chilled or cold. Then after the ride it kept me warm until I was ready to get on another horse. And I had something weird happen last night. I rode two horses and then headed home from the barn. When I got home I took off my sweatshirt and it was wet on the back and I couldn't figure out how that happened. Then I figured out that the Under Armour shirt had wicked the sweat away and the moisture had ended up on my sweatshirt, keeping the Under Armour shirt and me dry. Yay for technology!

Also I have two samples from Absorbine to try out but it's too cold! They sent me Showsheen and HoofFlex, both with a new delivery system. I can't wait to try them but I think that they might not work so well at 20 degree temperatures. So once it warms up, finally, I'll be able to give them a try.

The cold hasn't kept me from riding. I ride two horses a night usually, sometimes 3 or 4 depending on what's going on. Sadly, none of theses horses is Kaswyn. His wound is really healing up now, but he still has sensitivity behind the pastern and is still just a bit off because of it. And I can't blame it on the inflammation, because that is completely gone. I can feel the bones and everything back there.

I'm trying not to get too upset about it but I fear that my time of riding my horse is over. My plan is to wait until the leg is totally and completely healed - like the scab has fallen off and hair starts to grow, and there is no inflammation when I stop wrapping him. When we get to that point I will re-evaluate. If he still has pain behind the pastern, with no inflammation and no open wound, then I will take him to Dr. G one last time and get his opinion on what's going on in there, and find out of there is anything he can do. I'm done cutting my horse open, so surgery is out.

I am interested in trying to find a horse massotherapist that has experience with nerve pain and possibly adhesions in the leg. I have a feeling that those nerves behind the pastern are inflamed or there are adhesions that are causing pain. Perhaps breaking those adhesions up will make a difference. But I'm confident right now that he doesn't have an injury there, because he's had so much time off that anything he could have pulled or strained would have healed by now.

So right now I'm waiting. Waiting for winter to end, waiting for show season to start, and waiting for Kaswyn to finish healing. And I want it all to hurry up, already!

Looks good, feels good

2011-01-22T18:42:00.008-05:00

It looks like putting in the extra time to wrap Kaswyn's leg is paying off already. Two days of being wrapped and the inflammation was gone when I unwrapped him. It's wonderful. I can tell that he feels better just by the way he's acting. It's now been four days and the wound looks so much better. It's been very cold here and the horses haven't been going out, so having someone unwrap and re-wrap him has not been an issue. I've been out every day to walk him and tend the leg myself.

There are three reasons why I'm hesitant to ask someone to wrap him for me.

#1 - I want it done right, and since there are a lot of steps (see below) I'm afraid that it might not all get done to my liking.

#2 - If someone else wrapped him and there was an issue then we'd both feel bad about it.

#3 - It's kind of a pain in the butt to do. This is what I do every time I wrap him -

Step #1 - Clean the wound.

After walking Kaswyn in the arena, the wound gets arena dirt all over it. So it looks like this -

The wound needs to be cleaned gently with Nolvasan surgical scrub using sterile saline and gauze pads. I don't scrub it hard, but just gently clean it. Then it needs to be rinsed with more saline, and dried with gauze. After it's been cleaned, it looks like this -

Step #2 - Apply Dermagel to the wound and let dry a bit if possible.

The Dermagel looks like apple jelly.

It's a bit thick and will dry with a skin on it if you leave it long enough. I don't know if it makes a difference, but I usually put the Dermagel on and then groom Kaswyn and get his wraps all ready to go so that I give the Dermagel a chance to dry at least a little.

Step #3 - Put silver ointment on a gauze pad and stick it to the wound.

The silver ointment is white, but it's got silver in it to help the wound from getting infected. It's thick and a little goopy. I just scoop a little onto a gauze pad...

...and stick it right to the wound. The ointment is so thick that the gauze will stick there until I can get the wrap ready.

Step #4 - Add the pastern cuff.

In order to keep the wrap in place, and to keep a bit of pressure on the wound, Dr. G told me I must wrap the leg with a pastern cuff. It's just thick cotton wrapping that is cut to the size of his pastern, then wrapped around and secured with a strip of duct tape. High tech, I know!

Step #5 - Wrap the cannon bone with another cuff.

This cuff makes the pastern and the cannon bone the same size as the fetlock, but allows the fetlock freedom of movement. Dr. G also told me how to do it this way. Again, this is secured with duct tape.

Step #6 - Wrap whole leg with standing wrap and bandage.

I'm using no-bow wraps, but I was using my trainer's thick quilted wraps when he first came back from Dr. G's. The no-bows are working just fine, but the quilts are nicer.

I wrap the other leg too, just because I was taught to always wrap both legs if you're going to wrap one.

And here is the bucket I keep all of my wound treatment stuff in.

So that is six steps to re-wrapping his leg. It's not like someone would be able to just slap a wrap on him and be done with it. That's why I'm going to have to get my butt out to the barn every day until this thing is healed. Which might not be that much longer, because the wound looked fantastic today. The pics of the wound above are three days old. It already looks so much better than it did. I'll have to take some pictures tomorrow. It really looks good.

So good, in fact, that I did just a little trotting and cantering today on Kaswyn. The whole ride was ten minutes, with a lot of walking, but I wanted to see how he felt. Not only did he feel good, but he also was super willing. I was riding him bareback and in a halter and was not prepared for the big jumping canter depart he did when I asked him to canter. He certainly was eager to go after all this time of not working.

I am hopeful. Maybe two more weeks and the wound will be skinned over - maybe sooner.

One last thing - what's your opinion on wrapping an injured leg? Do you wrap just the injured leg or do you wrap the corresponding leg in the pair (like both front or both hind legs)? Just curious about what other people do, or were taught to do and why. I was taught that the uninjured leg should be supported. So what do you think, what do you do, and why?

New Plan

2011-01-21T09:46:00.003-05:00

I wanted to update sooner, but this is what happens when you have a horse and kids - one doctor's appointment and two dentist appointments later I'm finally getting around to writing.

Kaswyn's wound looks a bit better. It's not great though, and he is still developing inflammation on the back of his pastern. When that inflammation is there I can't even touch that area without him flinching and picking up the foot.

When I got there on Tuesday I iced the area and it improved but didn't go away. Then on Thursday I got to the barn just as he was coming in from turnout in the snow. I iced the leg while I rode 2 horses, and when I took the ice off the inflammation was gone. I could not only touch the area but I was able to push on it and feel the bone without him objecting.

I got on and walked him for ten minutes and he felt great. I asked for a teensy bit of trot each direction and he was very eager and felt sound. This gives me hope that if I can get the leg healed and the inflammation goes away that he might just be ok.

Thinking back to just after the surgery, when I kept the leg wrapped all the time, he didn't have that inflammation. I stopped keeping the leg wrapped when he was allowed to go outside, because it becomes a pain to ask someone to unwrap the leg, turn him out, and then re-wrap the leg if I can't get out there that evening.

However I've now decided that he needs to have the leg wrapped at least overnight. And if he gets turned out then they will unwrap it for me. That means that I'll have to make it out there every day until that wound heals up. Sure, I could ask the barn manager to wrap it, but it's such a hassle, and I've screwed it up before so I kind of want to do it myself now that I know what I'm doing.

Also, Kaswyn is looking skinny. With all the bute he's getting (which isn't really THAT much at one gram twice a day) I'm afraid that he doesn't feel well in the guts, so I'm going to put him on Succeed. I'm hoping that will help him feel better while I have to keep him on this bute, and maybe I can get some weight on him. We're going to start him back on wet alfalfa cubes too, since he's really just picking at his hay.

So, wrapping the leg again, plus Succeed and alfalfa cubes. We'll see how this works. And if it doesn't I'll make a new plan!

Clock move faster!

2011-01-18T10:38:00.002-05:00

I haven't seen Kaswyn in a week and I'm going out to the barn tonight after work.

And work is going SO slowly. Ugh.

I'm sure the gals out at the barn have taken good care of him but I miss that boy. I'll take pictures of his wound if I can get decent lighting. That way everyone gets to see the grossness! Actually I'm hoping it's looking much better than it did a week ago.

I also am feeling a bit bloated and soft from not riding for a week. It's probably all in my head, but what I think is "I haven't done any exercise in a week! And I like Ho-Ho's!" See the problem?

I miss the other ponies that I get to ride too. I've had requests to post pictures of the other three I'm riding, so I need to get that done. You will love them, they are all adorable!

Ok, back to work, blah. But going to see my boy later, so YAY!

Calling the doctors

2011-01-06T16:10:00.006-05:00

I haven't updated about Kaswyns' leg lately because there is not much to tell. It is slowly getting better but still has inflammation, even with bute (one gram twice a day) and icing. I'm not working him at all, but he is getting turned out. They put round bales of hay in the pastures and he doesn't run at all, just walks around the round bale with his face stuck in it!

The wound is slowly healing from the bottom up and from the inside out, and every day I see slight changes in the positive direction. It's slow and the wound is looking better, but the inflammation was bothering me. I've been afraid that I might be missing something important. It has been six weeks since the surgery, so I called Doc G to find out what he thought.

Doc thought that I was doing everything right, but that I should touch base with the OSU surgeon. I called her to give her an update and we had a very interesting conversation.

First, she said she doesn't know why the wound busted open like it did, and didn't heal like the other side did. She said it could have been caused by an infection, but she can't really say for sure. She said she was sorry it happened, but couldn't explain it.

Next, after discussing the pictures I sent her (the same ones I posted here), we talked about the dark strip of necrotic tissue that the wound had (it's since fallen off or been healed over - hard to say really since it happened when I was out of town). She had a similar experience with one of the other horses she operated on. Basically she is wondering if the necrotic tissue wasn't the nerve itself, since it was rubbery. Alcohol is a fixative, and it makes tissues kind of rubbery. So she is wondering if the nerve didn't get fixed in that position when she injected it and was then exposed when the wound popped open. She can't say for sure though, and with it no longer visible or gone completely we'll never really know.

Lastly, overall she thinks that it is completely normal to have swelling if the wound is still open, which it is. It's good that bute and ice bring it down, and it's good that he can still feel the back of the pastern, which gets very sensitive and painful when it's inflamed.

So I'm just going to keep doing what I've been doing, with one addition - I'm going to add some U-Guard to his diet so I can try and counteract the affects that bute might have on his tummy. I don't like keeping him on bute but I've got to keep the inflammation at bay. Once the wound closes I might have to keep him on the bute for a bit while the area sorts itself out under there, but my hope is to wean him off of the bute eventually.

I'm going to take another picture of the wound this weekend and send it to the surgeon, which means you'll all get to see it here too! Believe me it looks a lot better than it did. It looks less "meaty" and more pink, and less angry looking.

At least I'm still able to ride. There are three horses that I'm riding or working with, but I don't ride them all every day. I've got Lee (the buckskin - I still have to get those videos from the show posted!) Brandee (a neat paint half-arab mare who knows some first level stuff) and Ivy (purebred arab mare who is out of commission until the end of January for riding - she slipped on the ice outside and pulled her stifle!) so I'm busy at the barn. What I've been doing is putting ice on Kaswyn's leg while I ride the others, and then when I'm done I tend to his wound so the ice gets to stay on a good long time. He can see me riding and grooming the other horses and today he kept calling out to me. I feel really bad about it, but I just should not be riding him right now so he needs to be patient too.

Soon buddy, soon. You heal up and we'll be good to go.

Fat leg

2011-01-01T18:52:00.003-05:00

Today I went out to see Kaswyn and his leg was all fat and swollen. Now I'm pretty certain that it's the inflammation that is making him sensitive, uncomfortable, and lame, because he didn't want me to touch any place that was swollen, not just between or around the incisions.

So I walked him for ten minutes and gave him 2 grams of bute. I also put some Surpass cream on the most puffy areas. I decided to put him on one gram of bute twice a day for three days, then one gram a day for three days. I think it's harder for that wound to heal with a bunch of inflammation going on, even though I don't like him being on bute for a long time.

Thanks for all of your comments and positive thoughts sent my way. I'm trying to look towards the positive, and be patient for the healing to be over before I pass judgment on if he's going to heal completely or well enough to return to work.

We'll see what tomorrow brings. Hopefully a less swollen leg.

Hope for a Happy New Year

2010-12-31T16:16:00.007-05:00

Today is the last day of 2010, and I haven't posted in awhile. I've got two posts, stuck in the draft process, that I need to get finished, but I just haven't gotten the job done. And today in particular has been a bit of a rough one as far as Kaswyn has been concerned. Well, Kaswyn's ok today, but it's me that's been having issues.

I went to the barn today after being in California for a week visiting with my family. It was a lot of fun, but the whole time I was worried about Kaswyn's leg, and if he was getting out, if he was lame, etc. When I got there today the surgery site didn't look too bad. It's still not healed, but it's not horrible looking.

The shaved area of his skin, however, looked awful. I think all the wrapping gave him some skin crud. I decided to deal with that after I rode him. I was going to lunge him first to check soundness, but there were two people waiting to lunge (it's hard to ride when two people are lunging) so I just hopped on.

I completely tacked him up, and he got all excited. Tack = work, and he LOVES to work, so we was impatient in the cross ties as I got his bridle out. He didn't want to stand still when I tightened his girth or pulled down my stirrups, but he stood nicely for me when I mounted. He was a bit full of himself walking, but I couldn't feel any lameness.

Then I asked for the trot. Oh, THERE is the lameness. Got it.

So we just walked for ten minutes. Then I gave that scurfy skin a good scrub and put Nolvasan cream on it. Then I put Dermagel on the surgical wound, and put him away. Then I cleaned my saddle, conditioned it, and put it away.

And when I say that, I mean I put it in my tack locker that isn't with the rest of my brushes and stuff. It's away, in a place where I won't see it all the time. I think it might be there for a long time.

See, I think Kaswyn might be done. He is lame, and he still is hypersensitive on the back of his pastern. I thought maybe that sensitivity was just on the skin, so I tried putting Vagisil on it (it's a powerful topical numbing cream), but that didn't seem to take the pain away. He might be broken forever and that thought just tears me apart.

The whole time I was cleaning his tack I was trying not to cry. And then on the way home I was trying to hold it together. I called Craig to tell him I was on my way home, and he asked how my boy was. I told him he was lame and he could hear the impending tears in my voice. I held it together, but then after we hung up this song came on the radio -

Kind and Generous - by Natalie Merchant

You’ve been so kind and generous
I don’t know how you keep on giving
For your kindness I’m in debt to you
For your selflessness, my admiration
And for everything you’ve done

You know I’m bound…
I’m bound to thank you for it

You’ve been so kind and generous
I don’t know how you keep on giving
For your kindness I’m in debt to you
And I never could have come this far without you
So for everything you’ve done

You know I’m bound…
I’m bound to thank you for it

I want to thank you
For so many gifts
You gave with love and tenderness
I want to thank you

I want to thank you
For your generosity
The love and the honesty
That you gave me

I want to thank you
Show my gratitude
My love and my respect for you
I want to thank you

I want to…

Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you

And, of course, I finally cried.

Not the sniffly, softly tearing crying where someone offers you a tissue. This was hard-core, full on sobbing, can't catch your breath, where someone says "Oh my god, what the hell happened?" Or, "It's not the end of the world, pull yourself together!"

You see, I'm not a crier. I'm not weepy and I certainly don't cry in front of people, not if I can help it. Crying is something I do alone - in the car, in the shower, or locked in the storeroom at work (yes I've done that). So I cried my eyes out and came home. Craig asked how I was and I couldn't even speak. He said "That bad, huh?" and I just nodded.

I ate lunch and thought about Kaswyn. Yes he might be done, but I might also be jumping the gun. the fact is, he's not healed yet and still has some inflammation in the area. When he was at Doc's for those few days and they eliminated all the inflammation, Kaswyn was sound. So maybe, just maybe, once he heals and the inflammation is gone he will be okay.

I got in the shower, and didn't cry. Maybe this will resolve and I just have to be patient. If he's still lame, maybe he won't hurt if I don't ride him much and maybe I'll be able to let the showing and training part of our partnership go.

Maybe there is a chance for Kaswyn and I in 2011.

Oh, and thank you, Kaswyn. I love you.

Leg pictures and video

2010-12-21T09:48:00.008-05:00

Here are the current pictures of Kaswyn's leg.

First, the lateral incision site, meaning the outside of the leg.

Looks pretty good, right? You can just see two little areas of pink, but the rest is totally healed.

Next, the medial side. That's the side that teh surgeon said was a mess of scar tissue, nerve re-growth, and lots of inflammation and hypersensitivity.

Looks pretty icky. It's still open, but flat. By that I mean it doesn't have a huge canyon or hole down in there, but there is still exposed "meat". It also has that dark strip that I think is just dead, necrotic tissue that I'm hoping will fall off once the skin under it heals.

Besides that, Kaswyn is hyper sensitive in the area directly between the incisions at the back center of the pastern. Here is a short video showing that -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tjuSw_-MP0

I sent all of this to the surgeon, so I'll post her opinions when she gets a chance to review the info. Right now I'm not very hopeful. I had the blacksmith pull Kaswyn's shoes so he can start going out in the snow. I can tell that he doesn't have any feeling in that heel, which is good, and that the medial incision is not painful (even though it looks bad), but that hyper sensitive area worries me. A lot.

Yellow and Frozen Blue do not make green

2010-12-20T16:59:00.000-05:00

It's 23 degrees at the barn. There is no bathroom, but there is a Port-A-Potty. Things... freeze.. in there.

The portable heater that someone put in there = WIN! It doesn't keep the "down below" from freezing solid, but is does make a nice warm breeze across the seat, which is awesome.

What's with that leg?

2010-12-19T08:37:00.005-05:00

It's been awhile since I've posted. That's because I've been so busy it's insane.

Work has been super stressful and very very busy. It's essentially 8 hours of go-go-go, sometimes more if the doctors run late, or the patients are late due to the weather. Then after work it's a mad dash to the barn to unwrap Kaswyn's leg, walk him, and wrap it up again.

Update on the leg is that it's not healed on the bad side. The good side is totally healed and looks great. The bad side, the side that the surgeon said was a mess of inflammation, scar tissue, and re-grown nerves, is still open and ugly. It's healing slowly from the inside out, but I think there is a strip of necrotic tissue on top that needs to eventually slough off.

There isn't a lot of swelling, but there is an area between the incision sites directly at the middle on the back of the pastern that is slightly swollen and SUPER sensitive. If I even touch it lightly with my finger Kaswyn jerks his leg. I'm not sure if this will go away when the area finally heals or if this is permanent.

I called the surgeon to ask her what her thoughts were, and she said that she'd like me to take pictures and send them to her. So I'll go out to the barn today and take some photos and maybe a short video showing how sensitive Kaswyn's leg is in that area.

Kaswyn did have another inflammatory episode that caused some lameness about ten days ago so I put him on 10 days of antibiotics. The wound is much more healed now and the inflammation has gone down a lot. I still wrap the leg every day because it's not healed enough to leave open yet. But it's slowly getting better.

In addition to work I've got Christmas stuff to deal with. Plus all the laundry and other household duties to get done. At least Craig cooks. I'm very lucky there.

Well I'm off to the barn again. I'll post the pictures and the video of the leg later. It's kind of gross looking right now, but it looked a lot worse ten days ago!

Horse Husbands, here's some food for thought.

2010-12-06T13:37:00.006-05:00

These last few weeks have been a crazy time for Kaswyn and I. They've also been trying for my family. Fortunately, Craig recently did some thinking about my horse that has led to an epiphany of sorts on his part. I think there are those who can benefit from this line of thinking, so I asked Craig to write it up so I could post it.

Here it is -

Hi. Sheri’s husband here.

I generally don’t poke my nose into this odd and mysterious world of horse people, but Sheri's asked me to write a guest post concerning a recent revelation I've had. An epiphany, actually.

I should start by admitting that I don't much like Sheri's horse. I know that's blasphemous talk, and I certainly don't expect any of you to take my side on this. I know you'll probably say "You don't ride, you can't understand" and, to a degree, you're right. But I have my own hobbies that I'm passionate about, and they require a certain amount of dedication and time commitment, so I think I have a baseline understanding, even though I agree that I'll never share the deep connection Sheri has with her horse.

But, in my own defense, this isn't a knee-jerk "what's that gonna cost?" or "I never see you anymore!" thing (even though that has certainly played a part) but, rather, an attitude that has developed over time.

When we first started dating, Sheri made it clear that she and her horse were a package deal. And if I couldn't deal with her riding, then it wasn't going to work between us. And for the first five years it really wasn't much of an issue. Or, at least, not as big an issue as it would become. I wasn't passionate about riding or Kaswyn, but I didn't object, either. I was pretty neutral. Riding made Sheri happy, so why not? Yeah, it cost money for stabling and feed, but it wasn't causing financial difficulties, really.

But, in the past five years, Kaswyn has become a real money pit. He is constantly lame, and the efforts to diagnose, manage and treat this lameness has run up hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars.

This stresses Sheri and makes her miserable. And I don't want my wife to be miserable.

Being a man and approaching things like a man, my thinking is that if you remove the stress-causing element (Kaswyn) then things would be better. This kinda came to a head recently with the whole affair of taking Kaswyn down to OSU, having him develop mysterious blood issues, postponing surgery, Sheri having to fetch him on Thanksgiving Day thereby missing dinner with my family, then having him develop new mysterious issues only to be rushed to another vet for an overnight stay… Sheri was a stressed-out, crying mess for most of a week.

Mulling these events over in my head, I started to form an analogy that would help convey to Sheri just why this series of events angered me so.

I thought: Let’s say Lily (our oldest daughter, who is now only seven) were 16 years old and dating a boy who she just LOVED. But every third date or so she came home in tears. And she was constantly spending excessive amounts of money on him. And even when things were good, she was still stressed and nervous, just waiting for when things turned bad again. If this were the case, there’s no way that Sheri or I would stand for it. We’d tell her that this guy is bad for her, and she should dump him, that there’s plenty of other fish in the sea. And even if she told us, "But I really love him! I need him in my life! I’d be less without him!" we’d stick to our guns.

Now here comes the epiphany part.

As I thought it over I realized that it wasn't a very good analogy. It would be closer to the case if Lily were an adult and married to a man who was suddenly faced with a serious and potentially life-altering issue. Cancer. Parkinson’s. Macular degeneration. Something like that. If THAT were the case, I realized, I wouldn’t tell her to dump the guy. I’d tell her that she’s in a relationship that she committed to a long time ago and that she should stick it out, support him.

Don’t give up hope.

This completely altered my perception of the situation. I mean, I still don’t like to see my wife unhappy, and I don’t like it that such a large percentage of our household income is spent on one animal… but now I think I have a tiny bit more understanding of what’s going on in Sheri’s head. And, for maybe the first time, I think she's doing the right thing.

Also, check out this post at Behind the Bit for a similar blog post about horses and husbands.